Race Report – Toddman 2021 (Andrew)

I. CANNOT. FIND. THE WORDS.

This year’s Toddman was won by a dirty, rotten, cheat. Even Lance Armstrong is saying “hey, that’s not fair!”.

Here’s what happened.

But before that: what is Toddman? I’m glad you asked. It is a triathlon race open to everyone with the surname Todd who is related to me or Iain TwinBikeRun. You can find more here and here.

This year’s race featured a new course as we changed the bike route to incorporate two iconic central Scotland climbs: Tak Me Down and the Crow Road aka Todd Me Down and the Todd Road. We also changed the run route by changing the start from Lennoxtown to Todholes aka Toddholes while keep the mid point as a climb to the summit of Mickel Bin before a downhill sprint back to Toddholes car park where the winner is the first to touch the green gate at the entrance – and, for which, they get to wear the now iconic black Peat & Diesel cycle jersey.

Last year, I won Toddman fair and square. This year, it was stolen from me!

SWIM

We both completed the swim at the same time, albeit I’d started swimming 10 minutes before him as he was trying to get some drone footage. But do I bring up the fact I was 10 minutes ahead of him and therefore finished 10 minutes earlier but had then swam an extra 10 minutes? No, because I’m a gentleman. I would never repeatedly mention that I was 10 minutes ahead of him as the end of the swim because I would expect that would be something he would acknowledge. 10 minutes is a HHHUUUUGGEEE gap. But do I mention it? No. Not me. Even though it was 10 minutes.

Anyway…

(10 minutes!)

I don’t mention it.

CYCLE

We complete the bike in the same time. I’m happy to call this a draw.

RUN

We start together. We reach the top of Mickel Bin together. We run back down together until, with a mile to go, I stop and tie my shoelace. I thought Iain would stop. I thought I could rely on him to recognise the unwritten rule that you don’t attack the leader when the leader has a mechanical.

I know this is a bike thing and not a triathlon thing but triathlons also use a bike so I’m borrowing this rule for Toddman.

And what did Iain TwinBikeRun do when I stopped to tie my shoelaces? He ran off, that’s what he did. He didn’t even hesitate. He just kept going and going until he reached the Toddholes gate and declared himself the winner.

But he’s not winner. He’s a CHEAT.

And while the general public doesn’t back me on this. A poll on the Glasgow Triathlon Club Facebook page showed 90% of members supported his claim for glory, it’s worth pointing out that people cheered when Lance Armstrong crossed the line too. But he was still a crook.

So, while Iain TwinBikeRun may think he wears ‘the Black’ and is proudly cycling round in the Toddman Jersey, I think history will be his true judge and the true winner of Toddman will be acknowledged as me!

(Also he only won by 5 mins and I was 10 minutes ahead of him after the swim, which I don’t like to mention. Even though it makes me the winner. 10 minutes!).

Toddman 2021 Film (Iain)

Every year Andrew Todd and I race each other in an epic contest known around the world as Toddman!

The TV rights are available if sky sports are interested? No? How about Channel 4? No? GB news ? No? Really? Not even wanted by a channel no one watches! How about Onlyfans ? Last year Andrew cheated to win. This year, did history repeat itself ?

If you read last weeks blog then you will know the answer…

Rugged Run – The Falls of Clyde(Iain)

Can a good walk be spoiled by a terrible journey to it?

The Falls of Clyde should be a good walk. It ticks all the boxes of things I like. Its is very scenic, it has unique sights (the village) and there are options to make it a short or long route BUT I hated driving to it.

I hated it because the roads were awful, I got lost and I spent twice as much time in my car than my Sat nav claimed it would take.

By the time I started the walk I was in a foul mood so I did a short route out and back route rather than a full loop. Check out the maps below to see the options.

I enjoyed the walk. It was long enough for me. The route is very well signposted so I won’t bother putting directions here. Just follow the signs to the falls.

MAPS

Short Route:

https://www.strava.com/routes/2859444495775347268

Long Route:

https://www.strava.com/routes/2852569720978813142

Review

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Nice walk but it is not a nice drive to get to (from my house)

Parking

Rating: 5 out of 5.

There is a big car park.

Facilities

Rating: 4 out of 5.

There are toilets, cafes and plenty of shops nearby.

Nearest cafe

Rating: 4 out of 5.

There is a cafe in New Lanark visitors centra.

Run Surface

100% trail

Dog Friendly

yes

Elevation

300 m

The Sound of Football: Accrington Stanley (Andrew)

Every fortnight we cover the best and worst football songs from every club in the UK from our book ‘The Sound Of Football: Every Club, Every Song’. You can buy it here

Accrington Stanley

Nickname: Stanley

Ground: Crown Ground (currently known as The Wham Stadium until 2021)

Stadium Capacity: 5,070

Song: On Stanley, On

Sir Walter Scott’s epic poem ‘Marmion’ describes one of Scotland’s heaviest military defeats, the battle of Flodden Field (1513). The English army routed the Scottish army after killing King James IV of Scotland.

Accrington Stanley’s song ‘On Stanley, On’ was inspired by a line in the poem.

’Charge, Chester, charge!  On, Stanley, on!’

Were the last words of Marmion.”

(Source: Marmion, Sir Walter Scott, public)

The “Stanley” referred to in the poem is Edward, the first Earl of Derby, and not the team. Instead, two journalists, Harry Crossley and Allan Lamber borrowed this line to write a song to inspire Accrington Stanley to victory against Torquay United after the club reached the third round of the FA Cup in 1953, the first time Stanley had got that far in almost 30 years. 

The song’s lyrics were published in the Accrington Observer on 12 December 1953. A version of the song, recorded by the Accrington Male Voice Choir, was played over the loudspeaker before the game. The music helped inspire Stanley to a 2 – 2 draw, though the replay saw Flodden Field recreated, as Stanley was slaughtered 5 – 1.

‘On Stanley, On’ became a popular song for supporters in the 1950s and 1960s with new versions recorded, including one by the local band Red Dawn and the Stanley Choir. However, the club itself was not so popular. It collapsed in 1966, and its current incarnation was formed in 1968. 

Stanley’s collapse and resurrection was, for many years, the most famous thing about the club. However, as it has steadily climbed the league, it has become more well-known. A fact that led to considerable angst for the band Accrington Stanley. As their lead singer, Dan O’Farrell, explained in 2013, they were counting on the club remaining obscure:

We chose [our] name in early 1986… purely because I had this ace book called The History of Football, and there was a picture of a football crowd watching an Accrington Stanley match in the 1930s… Accrington Stanley was only ever mentioned as a sad story from going bust in the 60s. It had the ring of the underdog about it. Now, [their name is] a bit of a pain, as it renders us very hard to Google or find on YouTube.

‘On Stanley On’s’ popularity has waned in recent decades. However, in May 2011, the Accrington Observer campaigned to resurrect it for a crunch play-off tie with Stevenage Borough. Reporters for the paper handed out song sheets to fans before the game. Sadly, the song couldn’t inspire the players to another famous result, Stanley lost its home game 2 – 0 and the return leg 1 – 0.

Before the game, Accrington Stanley chief executive Rob Heys told the Observer:

I’ve heard the song a few times. There is a lot of history associated with it. I am sure some of the older supporters remember it fondly, and if people were to sing it again, that would be great.”

Another link between Stanley and Flodden Field made ‘On Stanley On’ a perfect line to borrow for a football song.

King James IV of Scotland was the last British King to die on a battlefield. After the battle, his body was taken to Sheen Priory in Richmond, Surrey, where it remained until the 16th century before it disappeared – though it’s believed it’s buried underneath the fairway of the Royal Mid-Surrey Golf Club.

While the body remains missing, at least until the golf club decides to check beneath the 14th green, there’s an easy way to identify King James once found – he has no head. This is because the King’s head became detached from his body before being transported to Sheen Priory. And, legend has it, the last time anyone saw the King’s head was when a group of Elizabethan workmen found it and decided they would use it to play a game… a game of football.

Buy the Sound of Football from Amazon

Film Friday – Hebridean Sea Swimmer (Iain)

Film Friday is a weekly recommendation of one video to watch this weekend.

Is there a more beautiful place in the world than the Western Isles of Scotland?

Yes probably.

But on a nice day the Western Isle are hard to beat. Hebridean Sea Swimmer has great videos which should inspire any swimmer to take a visit up North.

Toddman 2021 (Iain)

Toddman is the annual competition to decided who is the greatest Todd.

The entry requirement is simple. You have to be called Todd. Surname only. If you’re first name is Todd then you aren’t getting in.

This year, many Todd’s entered…actually just two. Andrew and I. Which guaranteed we would both finish on the podium.

Last year Andrew cheated his way onto the top spot (https://twinbikerun.com/2020/06/19/toddman-2020-iain/) This time I was determined I would be declared Toddman!

The route was a new improved Toddman route featuring an altered bike and swim course than the 2020 version.

Swim

We started with a 1km swim in Carron Valley Reservoir. There is no set route so I did some 200m laps back and forth until I hit the race distance. Even though Andrew started five minutes before me, I still finished before him.

I think our GPS watches have very different ideas about how far 1Km is. I’ve noticed even if I swim, bike or run right next to him we will often have very different distances logged.

But in this instance I’m sure my watch was 100% accurate and therefore I declare myself the winner of the Swim leg. 1-0 to Iain.

Bike

The new bike route comprises a climb of Crow Road and Tak Me Doon. Which we have renamed Todd Me Doon. The fastest to the top of both climbs would be declared Todd of the Mountains and he would be awarded the Polka Todd Jersey.

Andrew beat me to the top of both climbs.

BUT I let him win. I had a camera with me as I was filming the competition as we did it. Did Chris Froome have to film his own Tour De France wins? No! Someone did it for him. I lost all the time having to cycle slowly so that I could get Andrew in the shot. If I’d cycled at my normal pace he’d have been left behind and I wouldn’t have had any shots of him.

That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

I think, even though he came first, I should be declared the winner. 2-0 to Iain.

Run

The last leg was an out and back run to the Summit of Meikle bin. I knew from the start of the run that I would win. Each time I pushed the pace a bit faster Andrew would struggle. I was feeling great so I was confident I’d outpace him at the end.

With 1KM to go. Andrew’s shoe lace came undoe. He claims he shouted at me “Hey, wait a sec, I need to tie my shoelace!”

All I heard him say was “Hey Champ, run on. You deserve the win. You truly are Toddman!”        

Who knows who was correct? All I can say is “I am Toddman !”