SCENE: A NIGHTCLUB.
It’s late at night. So late that it’s no longer today but tomorrow. Our “hero” is at the bar. He’s ordering his 7th pint of the evening/early morning. It could be his 8th. It could be his 20th. He lost count a while ago.
Didn’t you say you were running a half marathon tomorrow….sorry, today?
What….ummm..pint…YAY….music! <starts dancing>
I’ll see you at the start then!
OUR HERO (singing)
Do you remember when we used to sing,
Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da
The next day our “hero” made it to the half marathon but was so hungover he couldn’t hold the pen to fill in the entry form. He ran the first three miles quicker than he’d ever run before as he was desperate to get to the water stop.
It was a beautiful sunny day and the drink poured out of him in alcoholic sweaty drops. He finished the race faster than he’s ever done a half marathon before – and he spends the rest of the day in bed ill. He misses the Scottish cup final because he’s asleep/comatose.
He vows never to drink before a race again but…
He repeats this scene the next four times he enters the same race. Each time he vows never to drink again.
This weekend was the fifth attempt, and this time he vowed he would definitely do the race sober…
I achieved my goal and reached the start line sober. There was a good turnout for the race and the sun was shining. A rare sight in Stornoway – about as rare as a sober runner.
The organisers had changed the route since the last time I’d entered but it was still undulating with a few wee hills. The weather was good and I set off strongly. Too strongly: I tired in the second half and couldn’t keep up the same pace.
I finished with a personal best for the race so I was happy with that. I was only one minute quicker than my drunk time which implies I was fitter back then or that its actually okay to have a drink before the race!
Now, where did I put my dancing shoes…