It is cheating. It doesn’t just feel like cheating. It is cheating pure and simple. I stop pedalling, I look down, the speedometer says 15mph and I’m still going up hill. This isn’t a bike, it’s an escalator.

I recently moved office from Larbert to Glasgow. With the world opening up and people returning to offices, I didn’t want to return to commuting by car five days a week. Instead I moved office so I could work most of the week in Glasgow city centre and commute from Glasgow Southside, roughly three miles away.

It’s been seven years since I worked in Glasgow. When I did, I would always cycle into work. Not only was it good to get out on my bike, it was normally faster too as I could get to the office in the same time it would take to walk to a train station or bus stop and catch a lift into town.

However, I had one problem when it came to commuting by bike again. There was no shower in my new office! And I would be sharing a room with one other person, who I assumed, because I’d seen it and because most people have one, has a nose. And a sense of smell.

So, I thought an ebike would be ideal. It would mean I could still commute back and forth but with no effort and no chance of turning up to the office drenched in sweat.

I looked at a number of different bikes and settled on the Eovolt as:

• We have limited room so a folding bike was ideal as it wouldn’t block any corridor
• A folding bike could also fit in the car or be taken on a train if I wanted to go to Larbert while in Glasgow
• It has chunky moped like wheels which made it very stable and comfy to ride.
• It was cheaper then a Brompton, which I know is the traditional folding bike but with slimmer wheels, it didn’t feel as good to ride on pothole ridden streets.
• It has a range of around 40 miles before it needs recharged. I’d looked at cheaper bikes but they all had shorter ranges and would have needed charging more than once a week. I was wanting to buy a bike, not spend all my time plugging and unplugging it.
• It has a removable battery. The battery is in the seat post, which can be removed by unclasping one clasp. The seat post can then be charged in the house and the bike kept in my shed.
• It was bright orange (though other colours are available). I used to have black bikes for commuting but, with winter approaching, I’d much rather have one that stands out in a garish colour to help with it being seen at night. Bike colours can be cool, but. do you know what’s cooler? Not getting run over by a bus.
• It is relatively light (for an bike). I looked at full frame bikes but they were all closer to 30kg, this one is 17kg. While I couldn’t recommend it if you need to carry it up three flights of stairs, I’d definitely say it’s okay for one flight.

Overall

This is a cracking wee bike that has transformed my commute. I have 2.5 miles of flat and then half a mile uphill to get to the office. The flat now feels like a down ride and the uphill feels like a flat. And my roommate hasn’t complained about any smell so I’m counting this as a success.

Dramathon is an annual marathon-ish distance race set in the whisky county of Speyside – which is home to more than half of Scotland’s whisky distilleries.

The race was originally announced in the same year as another alcohol fueled event – a wine run set in Glasgow https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/glasgow-set-host-10k-run-7169804

The wine run was banned. Government ministers, Doctors, and athletic officials all said running should not be combined with alcohol. But when the Whisky run was announced they all said “What an amazing idea! Love whisky! Make mine a double!”

It seems the only alcohol bad for you in Scotland is foreign alcohol.

I don’t drink Whisky. So I was attracted by the promise of a scenic mostly trail marathon.

My wife and brother had also signed up to do the race but both withdrew a few weeks beforehand. I’d have withdrawn too (as I didn’t fancy the long drive up and back) but I’d already paid for the B+B!

I recommended https://craigellachielodge.co.uk/ it was very nice.

The race starts at Glenfiddich distillery in Dufftown at 0900 by boarding a bus to Glenfarclas distillery so the race can actually start at 1000.

I wouldn’t get to Dufftown too early. There is plenty of parking near the start. I arrived with 5 minutes to go and easily made it onto a bus in time.

Once I got to Glenfarclas there was a 40 minute wait until the race began. I would have preferred to just start. It was very cold and I don’t like hanging about when I could be running instead.

The first part of the race was very scenic. I ran through the distillery grounds out into the countryside. The paths was mostly grass and mud. I settled into an easy pace. I didn’t want to go too fast.

There is a nice downhill section to the a road crossing. At the crossing I dibbed into a timer on one side and then dibbed out on the other. The clock stops between dibs.

It was then into a castle’s grounds. A women ahead of me said “This is beutiful”

A man replied “That is because this is a trail marathon. A trail marathon is much more scenic than a normal marathon…” he then spoke for 5 minutes at her as he mansplained marathons and running.

He finally asked if she did much running

She replied “Not much since I completed Celtman!” Celtman – the infamously difficult extreme triathlon which culminates in a marathon over two mountains.

He looked at her and said “I’ve not hear of that one.” and then went back to telling her more about his exploits!

Once I was out of the castle grounds there was some nice sections on a golf course, through some distilleries and out onto riverside paths.

My aim was to run for 18 miles or 3 hours. I was feeling good at the half point point. My time was just under 2 hours.

And then the race hit the Speyside way path. It was sooo boring. The rest of the race was not scenic. It was just long boring paths in amongst trees. Nothing to see by path and trees.

Thankfully I had a Crunchie choclate bar in pocket. That was the only thing that kept me going for the next 10k. I promised myself I’d eat it once I reached the 10k to go point.

At that point my cousin’s wife appeared and shouted “hey Iain.” I was surprised to see her but it turned out she had entered the 10k race. She asked if I was doing it too. I said I was doing the marathon. She seemed surprised by this. I must have looked very non marathon like ambling along with my Crunchie.

The last 10k was more boring trees and boring path. I checked my time and saw that I was going to easily get in before 4h 30min. Which was my pre race aim. I did just enough running to ensure I made it.

At the finish I received 8 miniature bottles of whisky. That’s Xmas presents sorted for 8 people!

I’m lying on my side staring into my stomach. I’m getting a nasal endoscopy – a video camera at the end of tube inserted via my nostrils – and I think I’ve been conned. 

Before coming to the operating room, I had a chat with a nurse who checked my medical history and then gave me a spray to numb my nostrils and throat. 

“We’ve just started carrying out these procedures at this hospital, but don’t worry, you’ve got Dr Sinclair and he carries out lots of them. There may be some other doctors though as they want to know what to do.”

Great, I thought. I’ve got good ol’ Steady Hands Sinclair. Nothing to worry about.

Except, I’m now on my side, a cable down my nose and throat and stomach and the doctor pushing the cable down my gullet is shouting “Whoa ahh! I always perform best under pressure!” like he’s Tom Cruise in Top Gun. This can’t be Steady Hands Sinclair?!?!

I’m not nervous, I don’t know enough about what’s going on to be nervous. I just trust that everyone knows what they’re doing. But now the Doctor is saying “I’m running out of scope!” and I’m not sure if I’ve got a surgeon or a submarine captain.

It’s a strange experience to see your insides on a screen in front of you. I don’t even know why they do so. Who thought: “I know what a patient wants to see when we carry out an endoscopy, they want to see it live on screen, so lets get a second telly so they can watch it themselves.”

So, I watch the camera approach my nostil, which I assume will be the easiest entry the Doctor will have all day as my nose is so big you could thread the Flying Scotsman down it. Then I watch it pass the back of the throat, through my vocal cords and then into a pink ribbed stomach and gut. 

I stop watching.

“Are you okay,” asks a nurse.

I can still talk, the cable doesn’t block my mouth but it’s uncomfortable with my throat numb and the plastic snake sliding through my belly so I just nod. But what I want to say is “Switch the channel! I don’t want to watch this! Put on Homes Under the Hammer!”

While the Doctor is pushing the tube and saying “C’mon, c’mon” like he’s a ten pin bowler trying to direct a strike. 

This only takes four minutes. It feels longer. Maybe it was longer, but it feels like it won’t end until it does and I’m handed some wipes for my face and the doctor says “everything looks normal.”

That’s good to know but I didn’t need to see it. I would have just believed him. 

Happy people on bikes. What’s not to like?

Well…

EVERYTHING!

Watch the video and watch the three presenters from website BikeRadar smile their way through the Dirty Reiver 2021 gravel race. Now read my report on the exact same race with almost the exact same bike: Dirty Reiver.

I hate them and their happy faces. I couldn’t sit down for a week!

When we used to work in offices it was easy to buy swim/bike/run gear without anyone knowing. A parcel would arrive, it could be opened before you got home, and no one would know that you’ve just bought another pair of trainers.

However, during the pandemic, we no longer get deliveries at work.

Or, to be more accurate, I still get deliveries from work but work has now become my home. And, instead of reception wondering why I get so many round boxes shaped like a tyre, I have my wife asking if I’m getting another delivery instead?

But she’s not complaining about the number of deliveries. She’s desperate for more. That’s because she’s discovered that when the online retailer, Wiggle, sends a parcel, it also includes a wee bag of Haribo sweets.

No sooner do I start to open a parcel before she’s ripping it out of my hands and tearing it open like a lion and a bag of Hula Hoops (assuming lions like Hoops).

“Where it is?” She says.

“What,” I ask.

“You know what,” she says, “the good stuff!”

I think she’s addicted and I think Wiggle know this and that’s why they send a bag of Haribo with each order. They might as well send crack cocaine, it would get the same reaction.

“Where’s my baggy?!”

I tried to search online to see if there was an official reason for why Wiggle includes a bag of sweets but all I could find were complaints.

I’ve never had any problems with missing Haribo, however, having read the comments, I have bought a spare packet, just in case. I would hate to think what would happen if my wife didn’t find a Haribo the next time a parcel arrives.

There are many, many strange genres on YouTube. If you want to watch someone take new shoes out of a box then just search for “unboxing” and you’ll find a million videos of people taking their trainers out of a box. If you want to watch someone whisper into a microphone then welcome to the world of ASMR and a million videos of people being really, really quiet.

My favourite genre of YouTube video is a bit more specialist. I like the genre known as “Man Goes For A Walk And Then Takes A Photo”. In the UK, photographers like James Popsys and Nigel Danson are great at this – every week they release a video where they walk somewhere and then take a photo. It’s not a complicated plot to follow. Usually, they’ll explain why they’re taking the photo but most of the time, it’s just an excuse to see various mountains and woodlands around the UK.

If you want to get started in this exciting sub-genre of filming then I highly recommend this week’s video: Hiking The Length of Skye by Thomas Heaton. Heaton is a great presenter and filmmaker who, earlier this year, walked the length of Skye while taking photos. To say any more would be to spoil the surprise that… there is no more to it than that. He walks a bit. He takes a photo. He walks some more. But it’s a very enjoyable two part video that shows off Skye’s spectacular scenery.