Andrew, Race Report

Tenby or not Tenby – Part 2 (Andrew)

Friday (Swim)

IMG_7944

There’s no water, which is a problem when you’re swimming.

We’re one hour away from starting and the tide is out. We could jog to the first buoy and walk half the course. However, as the beach is flat, it didn’t take long for the water to rise and for me to take off my trainers and put on my goggles.

By the time we start, as fireworks explode to our right blanketing the start in smoke, we actually have some water to swim in, which is good, as there’s 2000 people behind us in wet-suits.

The start area is crowded. Somehow we ended up near the front of the pack. The swimmers aren’t separated into different groups so it’s everyone for themselves as we’re herded into a big pen on the beach. It’s good to be near the start because even with only a few hundred around us the water is crowded for the first 10 minutes. Everyone is turning, kicking and trying to find their rhythm. 2,000 people means 4,000 legs and 4,000 elbows to avoid.

But the swimmers quickly become spread out. The swim course at the Long Course Weekend takes in two laps of Tenby harbour in a rough anti-clockwise triangle along the coast, back through some fishing boats, before turning back to shore for an Australian exit, which is not an upside down exit, but a short run along the beach before returning to the start for a second lap. I don’t know why it’s called an Australian exit. It should be an Austrian exit as you’re surrounded by land.

I’ve not swam 3.8 km this year. The longest I’ve swum is 2.5 km. It’s also a sea swim and the last time I swam in the sea I was sick after drinking too much salt water. I wasn’t looking forward to this but, while choppier than it looked, the conditions were good, I was able to settle into a rhytmn and I had the advantage of being near the start and getting the benefit of the tide. How can the tide be a benefit? Well, as it was coming in, those at the back has to swim further than those at the front who get the benefit of splashing through the first few meters and having more of the beach to run up for the Australian exit.

It’s not enough of an advantage though to beat Iain. As our GPS showed later, he was able to swim in a straightline, I, on the other hand, made at least three breaks for the open sea. My sighting is so erratic that for one leg of the swim it looks like I’m drawing a staircase on the GPS map.

I finish five minutes behind Iain. The second lap feels easier than the first though at one point I spot one man clutching the anchor rope of a fishing boat with an expression which said “I will only release this for death or a rescue boat – and I will gladly accept death than swim another meter!”

I know how he felt after needing the rescue boat myself the last time I tried a sea swim. It was at the Weymouth Half in September 2014. The organisers had promised a calm swim but the wind was in the wrong direction and the water was choppier than a hyperactive lumberjack. It was impossible to swim over the waves, instead I had to duck under and try and swim round while trying not to drown or get pushed back to shore. By the second lap I was vomiting from drinking too much salt water. By the final 400 metres I’d called over a canoe twice to give me time to hang on while I vomited over my wetsuit. The third time I called the canoe I knew the swim was over. I was too weak to keep fighting and I just needed to get back onto shore.

That’s why I was nervous about this swim. I hadn’t swum in salt water since and I knew I needed this swim as good preparation for Norseman. I needed to know I could swim the distance and that I could swim in the sea.

So, while I was feeling tired towards the end of the swim, I was also feeling happy as I knew the distance was okay and I’d overcome my nervousness about swimming in the sea.

Then I found out that Iain had finished ahead of me. And that I needed to win the run and the bike if I was to have any chance of beating him in competitions this year.

Andrew, Race Report

Tenby or not Tenby: the Long Course Weekend part 1 (Andrew)

I’ve only been to Wales three times (excluding the Deva Triathlon’s bike leg in and out).

The first time I’d booked a room in an 18th century inn near Cardiff. It was lovely. Or at least I think it was – I never saw my room. They’d double booked me and the previous resident hadn’t left. They were very apologetic as they were completely sold out. They tried to find me another room but all they could find was an ex-council house in a room so small it had a sink above the bed to save space. If you want to find out what it’s like to brush your teeth while tucked up in bed then let me know and I can point you in the direction of “Sheila’s B&B”.

The second time I was in Wales I ran down a mountain. I was taking part in the Three Peaks Challenge and we’d reached Snowdon on hour 21. It took two hours to get to the summit so we had no choice but to run as fast as we could down the mountain to complete the challenge. I’m not saying I’m a hero for performing such a, well, heroic feat but, if you want to use that term…

The third time I was in Wales I faced another mountain. I was having dinner and ordered the Eton Mess. The Eton Mountain would have been a better name.  It wasn’t a plate of food, it was a clear out of their freezer.  A mound of meringue, a field of strawberries and more cream than a cat who’s actually got all the cream. I didn’t need a sink above my bed that night, I had no teeth left after all that sugar.

But, in all the times I’ve been to Wales, I’ve never realised how long it takes to drive through it. It’s around 130 miles from Chester to Tenby on the south coast but, four hours later, you’ll still be driving through a series of road signs that look like my texts before auto-correct fixes them.

Wales is a long way away…

Last weekend, I had my fourth visit to Wales for the Long Course weekend – though, as it starts on a Friday, it should be called the Long Course long weekend…

The Long Course weekend does what it says on the tin. It’s a weekend where you can take part in a long course triathlon (Ironman Wales) but over three days rather than one. It also offers shorter distances too each day.

We were due to take part in the 2.4 mile swim on Friday, the 112 mile ride on Saturday and the marathon (for Iain) and the half marathon (for me, as I didn’t want to run 26 miles a few weeks before Norseman) on the Sunday. But things didn’t quite go to plan as not only is Wales a long way away, it’s also quite hilly…

Uncategorized

Back to training (Andrew)

A full week of training after two full weeks of feeling full.

Stomach bugs are strange things. You spend your time clearing your stomach out by all means possible and, even though you’re emptier than a promise from Boris Johnson, you don’t feel like eating anything at all. You feel full and when you try to eat something your stomach complains that it’s already had enough. You full of nothing. Just like Boris Johnson.

After two weeks my appetite returned and I was ready to start training again. A swim on Monday, two long runs on Tuesday and Wednesday, three hours on the bike on Thursday and then a break to rest before another three hours on the bike today. Not the longest training I’ve done, but a good start to get my legs moving again.

On Thursday, I was in Elgin and cycled to Dufftown and back in a loop round Moray and Speyside. On the way back I had a tailwind behind me (well, it was hardly likely to be in front of me, what with being a tailwind….) and sat between 25 to 30 mph for a 12 mile stretch between Rothes and Elgin. It was easy. Too easy in fact, I then went for a spin round Elgin to get some extra miles after finishing faster than I expected.

As I cycled round I passed a street with the following sign:

elgin

And I thought that’s a funny name for a road. Imagine if more roads were named after protests. We’d have the “What do we want? When do we want? Terrace”. The “Die Capatalist Pig Boulevard” before police arrived at the “Letsbee Avenue”.

Iain, Race Report

Seven Hills Race (Iain)

1 Comment

Edinburgh is famous for its castle…which is on a hill;  its folly…which is on a hill; and its observatory…which is on a hill. Also its zoo…which is on a hill and its volcano…which isn’t on a hill. It is a hill.

The city’s slogan is “Inspiring Edinburgh” but it should be “Edinburgh – hilly as f**K!”

Every year a race takes place where runners navigate to and run up all the hills. I did it once before in 2008. One of my friends was doing it too. He said we should take it easy and treat the race like a training run.

As soon as the race started two good looking woman ran past at a speed faster than training pace. My mate immediately ran off. The last I saw him he was chasing the girls down shouting “Where are you two from?”

This year I was running it by myself as Andrew hadn’t fully recovered from his stomach bug.

The race begins on Calton Hill before heading to Castle hill. Unfortunately the race almost immediately stopped as 300 runners tried to get down Calton Hill’s steps but a group of Spanish holidaymakers were trying to get up. When they got out of the way the race resumed.

After Castle Hill its a long run out to Corstorphine Hill. I wasn’t 100% sure of the way so I followed the crowd. Thankfully the crowd wasn’t Spanish so I went the right way.

It’s another long run to the next hill. This section is not very scenic as its mostly through streets. At the summit a man said to me “Well done Andrew!” I replied “Iain!” He looked disappointed. Which means I must be a disappointing Andrew (to some people!)

13439013_10154203484673162_6351307844346842034_n

The next two hills are the most scenic part of the course. From the top I got great views of the city. One of the summits had a bagpiper. He looked very sweaty as the sun was out and it was very warm. My legs were starting to feel the effects of all the climbing so I’d walked rather than ran to the top.

From there it was onto Arthur’s Seat. You can skip through a halls of residence to scale a wall to get there quicker but the organiser warned us the walls is 7ft high. I took the long route. I walked most of Arthur’s Seat as my ankle was sore.

It was then back to the start. I crossed the finish line and was handed….a medal? No! I crossed the finish line and was handed a beer mat. Which is one of the most unusual finishing prizes that I’ve ever received.

a

Iain

I should buy a road bike (Iain)

The first race I entered was the Glasgow Half Marathon. I was so unprepared I thought it was 10 miles long. I got to the point I expected to finish and was disappointed to find an extra three and a bit miles to go.

One of the people running with me (I think he was a friend of Andrew) had a backpack. At the end he looked in his backpack and discovered he’d been running with a pair of boxing gloves and a 2l bottle of juice. He commented “I thought I’d taken them out before I started!”

He also revealed that running with a backpack meant people shouted at him: “Are you going up a hill?” at least one hundred times. It wasn’t funny the first time.

The first bike race I entered was the Glasgow to Edinburgh cycle challenge, a 55 mile race from Edinburgh (Not Glasgow) to Glasgow (Not Edinburgh). Note the issue with the name. The route had switched around that year so it could finish at the same point the Tour of Britain was supposed to finish.

It was a miserable day. The wind was westerly and the rain was heavy. Four of us set out but one dropped out before we even got to the edge of Edinburgh. Andrew dropped out at the first train station he spotted. Myself and my friend carried on.

I didn’t know anything about bikes so I was using my mountain bike. A bike I still use to this day (some 12 years later.) I thought all bikes were the same so couldn’t understand why my bike was slower than people on racing bikes.

It was hard work and I remember a long slog  along a moor into a gale where I felt I wasn’t making any progress. I vowed to get a road bike.

My next race was a couple of years later. It was a 88 mile bike challenge up and round a hill. I hadn’t bought a road bike.  I was the only one on a mountain bike. Everyone started riding and before you could say “Hey, why is everyone on road bikes?” I was last.

It didn’t help that I had a backpack on filled with water bottles and sweets.

I made it up the hill but called it a day at the bottom of the other side. It was just too tiring. I learnt a valuable lesson that day. Get a road bike.

Which is why in my next race I still hadn’t bought a road bike. It was the Edinburgh Rat Race. An adventure race for teams of three. The aim was to bike or run a bit, then complete a challenge before biking and running again.

The problem was the challenges were so badly organised there was a queue to do them. At one point it took 30 minutes to do a challange that had taken us 30 minutes to ride to. I asked the guy what happened if we didn’t do the challenge. He said we’d get a 15 minute penalty.

I thought about this and calculated that if we went and finished the race without doing a single challenge we’d have a better time than if we’d done them.

We went to the finish line.

The organiser wasn’t happy. He wouldn’t let us finish. He said it was cheating. I think it was intelligent racing.

I learned a valuable lesson that day. Don’t get a road bike as it doesn’t matter how fast I do a race only whether I enjoy it. (Although I did buy one eventually).

7214840292_39092e9ea5_z
A picture of me enjoying the rat race. We stopped for a pub lunch as we’d calculated we we’d win easily.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Andrew

In the sick of it (Andrew)

A stomach bug and, I think, some food poisoning has stopped my training for the last nine days. I tried 10 miles on the turbo last night but then felt ropy for the rest of the night.

So, it’s feet up, do nothing and just wait it out.

Last year I was also ill around the same time. I had the flu and lost two weeks when I should have been hitting the hardest weeks of training. I remember feeling frustrated and worried. If I wasn’t training would I be fit enough to complete the race? Even after recovering, the doubt remained. I never trained more than 100 miles and I felt that I was a few weeks behind where I should have been.

This year, I know my training has been better so I’m not as worried about illness affecting Norseman. I tell myself I still have six weeks to go, I have the Tenby Long Weekend as a final ‘big’ practice. But it’s still frustrating. I tell myself I should be training even though I know that I shouldn’t. I just have to wait.

Andrew, Race Report

Chester Triathlon 2016 (Andrew)

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, or at least that’s what Albert Einstein said*. But Einstein wasn’t a triathlete. Doing the same thing again and again is known as training and doing the same thing in races is all about being consistent.

Because I’m consistent there are certain things I know.

Swim

I know that I will leave the water at the same time as Iain. It doesn’t matter the distance we race or where we race, we have a remarkable ability to always exit the water together. This time it was even easier as Iain had a thermal skull cap on which was easy to spot in the water. Once I saw him I just kept on his feet until we got to the end.

Bike

Training on a bike is all about consistency and aiming for Norseman. I want to be able to keep a steady speed and to feel strong from start to finish. I don’t want to “leave it all out on the course”, which is a curious phrase. If you leave it all out on the course then you should really use a toilet before you start…

So, I decided that my tactics were right last week, the only thing I got wrong was the length of the race. A sprint triathlon was too short for the tortoise to beat the hare. This time, the tortoise would win as the race was longer and, with 10 mile gentle descent back to Chester and with the wind behind there would be no way I wouldn’t be able to overtake him.

I was wrong. The story of the tortoise and the hare is not what you think. It’s not a tale of how consistency conquers all. It’s actually a tale of how consistency conquers all if, and only if, the hare takes a break in the middle of the race. Iain didn’t take a break. He started fast. He finished fast. He rode the middle bit fast. Fast beats slow. Always.

The tortoise and the hare is a stupid story.

Run

The run course involves three laps and, on each lap, I could see Iain at the same point each time, about five minutes ahead of me. It didn’t change thus, showing my consistency again, as I couldn’t run faster even if I’d tried.

Overall

I was pleased with a new personal best of 2 hours 48 minutes and also that I still felt strong at the end and could have kept running, which, with two months to go until Norseman, is a good sign.

*Although Einstein is often credited with this quote, it appears unlikely that he ever said it. Check out: Examinemint 

 

Iain

Chester Triathlon – 12th June 2016 (02:37:35) (Iain)

At university my mate worked for a comedy sketch group. The group comprised three guys and a girl. The girl couldn’t act, and she wasn’t funny, but she did have large breasts.

As talented as the guys were, she was the only one who became a success. She starred in Hollyoaks. The soap for people who like dramatic over the top storylines but only if it involves large breasted women and fit guys.

This weekend I was in Chester where Hollyoaks is set.  I didn’t spot any large breasted women but I did see a lot of fit guys….due to the Chester Triathalon.

We’d done the race a couple of years ago so this time I was hoping to improve my performance. I had a secret weapon – I’d ordered a new pair of shorts. There was only one problem. They were indecently short.

They not only made me look like a knob they also showed off my knob.

Unfortunately I had no alternative pair so the people of Chester were in for a treat…sorry…a sight! A very horrific sight.

Registration was next to the hotel so we got up early and headed over. The biggest decision was what swim cap to choose. Our wave had a choice of green/blue. We went for Celtic Green.

Swim (00:31:04) 

The swim was in the river Dee. The swim was enjoyable. It was 900m approximately up the river before turning and returning. My sighting was good so I didn’t feel I’d zig-zagged too badly.

At the end I thought the exit was in a different place to were it actually was so I swam past it and had to turn. Some idiot was following my feet so he made the same error. When I got out the water I turned round and discovered that idiot was Andrew.

He’d spotted me at the turning and had decided to have a tow to the finish.

Bike (01:13:21)

The bike ride was a nice loop out from the city into Wales and back. The road were excellent and it was virtually car free.

My aim was to average at least 20mph and stay ahead of Andrew! Luckily I got of transition just before him so I was able to bomb up the road. He made the same miscalculation as the week before and assumed his steady riding would eventually reel me in. It didn’t!

Run (00:48:15)

I felt much better on the run than I had recently. It was three loops of a riverside course with a water stop on each loop. It was enjoyable especially once I had worked out my brother wasn’t going to catch me.

At one point a guy asked what time I was aiming for. I said 48 minutes. He asked if it was okay to pace behind me. I said yes. Unfortunately he was so close that when a bollard suddenly appeared I was able to avoid it but he collided with it. Sorry!

Overall

I won the race and take a 4-2 lead in the Todd championship. I knocked 11 minutes of my PB so I was happy with that. I won’t wear the shorts again.

27643710315_729b7de0dc_o