2020 – part 2 (Iain)

April

This was the month Celtman was cancelled. Which came as a relief to me. I’d been ill for a few weeks and and I had not been able to train.The only exercise I do this month is walk. I don’t feel back to full health until May.

I may have had Covid. Before I fell ill I’d visited a friend. They had Covid but they didn’t know. They got it at a spaghetti bolognese party. Yes, you have read that correctly. A spaghetti bolognese party. A party where everyone share food, cutlery and (unknowingly) Covid. The organizers of the party had just come back from a ski trip to a Covid hit region of northern Italy. The organizers and some other guests were subsequently diagnosed with covid.

I will never know if that is what I had it but it seems likely.

The month starts with Keir Stammer being elected leader of the Labour party. I hope he keeps his job on googlebox.

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Sir keir

Due to covid I receive a refund from HMRC which can be used to help with expenses. Thanks HMRC, I used it wisely.

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I want to know more about this.

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Covid discussions took a turn to the weird. I was watching Good Morning Briton and spotted ex England manager and top shagger Sven Goran Erickson as an expert. What next? Neil Lennon explains Herd immunity. Derek Mcinnes discusses social distancing?

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I worked at home all month but made a mistake and accidentally orders some servers to be delivered to my house than my office. I had to explain to my my insurance company that I had £80K of computer equipment in my living room.

May

My Granny declared covid is worse than World War 2 because “During the war you could at least get a cup of tea with your neighbours”

I think she has forgotten about the part of the war where Nazis dropped bombs on her.

After weeks of lockdown I find I’m bored of covid. The early stuff was new and exciting but now it’s the same old symptoms rolled out week after week. I decide to move onto newer more exciting viruses like dengue fever. I’ll be a diseases hipster.

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I have 20+ years of IT experience managing and building complex systems. So you can guess the first request I get within two minutes of returning to the my office. “Can you switch my PC on and off?”

It was nice to return to the office and see a reminder of the good old days when I only had to be afraid of people who’d been on holiday recently

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Lockdown lifts at the end of May. One of the fun things I did whilst stuck at home was film a YouTube series with my wife. It was hard work to create/shoot/edit 10 minutes every week. I don’t know how Monty Don does it every week.

June

My favourite bit of Lockdown was when someone posted on my local Facebook group “Why is the farmers field got so much rubbish in it? When will the council force him to tidy it up? It is an eyesore! Anyone can drive up and tip their crap into the field. Nothing happens! There is no punishment for doing this”

Which most people read as “Easy to access rubbish dump now available! You won’t even get in trouble!” The next day the field was full of crap. Thanks Facebook

June saw more and more people escaping lock-down and returning to more normal activities although people kept adding the phrase “socially distanced” to whatever they did ie “I went for a run with a friend…socially distanced.” “I met my mum for lunch…socially distanced.”

You didn’t need to add “socially distanced” to describe exercise/activity you did with other people. You had and still have to socially distance when you are with people. Its the law. Everyone is doing it. If you are going to mention a law you are not breaking then mention other laws you aren’t breaking too. “I went for a run. I didn’t rob a bank” or “My mum and dad visited. I haven’t seen them in 8 weeks. We spent the time avoiding committing treason” or “I met another household. We didn’t exchange plants from other countries as that is a breach or the customs regulations related to horticulture.”

At the end of the month I was allowed to travel home to Stornoway to visit my mum….socially distanced.

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