Anyone walking past my hotel room before the start of the John Muir Ultra-marathon would have heard the following conversion between my wife and I.
“I’ve never done this before. Will it be sore?” I asked.
“I’m not sure but I think lube will help,” she replied.
A couple of seconds later I scream. “Aaaargh!!! That’s stings!”
“It’s not that bad. Take it like a man!”
“Ooh, matron” as Kenneth Williams used to say in the Carry On Film.
I’d applied a generous portion of chamois cream to my thighs hoping it would protect my bits from chafing. I had been so worried about chafing that that I’d actually packed the cream, into my bag of stuff for the race, a few week previously to ensure I’d not forget it.
I’m glad I did because about 15KM into the race I overheard a male runner ask one of the volunteers.
“Do you have any vaseline?”
The volunteer replied “no” so he asked “Do you think anyone ahead will have some? Please God! My bits are on fire! It feels like my baws are trapped between two bits of sandpaper!”
He might not have said the last bit but I could hear the fear of chafing in his voice.
He was not the only one who had forgotten something. At the end of the race, I heard a woman say to her friend.
“NOOO! I can’t believe it. I went to stop my watch and it didn’t stop, it started! I must have not pressed start at the beginning of the race.”
Which is annoying because everyone knows Strava kudos does not count if you manually create your activity. You need to have GPS tracking or it did not happen!
Thankfully I remembered my lube and to press start.