TwinBikeRun cover photo montage of Andrew and Iain Todd

TwinBikeRun

Andrew and Iain Todd write about endurance sport, football and the everyday absurdity of life. Twin brothers, occasional triathletes, and authors of six books between them.

Cover of Norseman: Two Brothers, Forty Years of Failure and the World's Toughest Triathlon
Cover of The Celtman Diary: Six Months to Prepare for the UK's Toughest Triathlon
Cover of The Sound of Football: Every Club, Every Song

  • The Sound of Football: Crystal Palace (Andrew)

    Every fortnight we cover the best and worst football songs from every club in the UK from our book ‘The Sound Of Football: Every Club, Every Song’. You can buy it here

    Crystal Palace

    Nickname: The Eagles

    Ground: Selhurst Park

    Stadium Capacity: 26,309

    Song: Glad All Over

    In 1851, George Jennings invented the public toilet. Unfortunately, the toilets were found in the Crystal Palace exhibition hall. It was called Crystal Palace because it was made out of glass. And, you would think, it would be the last place you would have a toilet as it had clear walls and ceilings. This led to the short-lived proverb: ‘folk in glass houses should not throw stones… or go to the toilet’. More accurately, it also led to the phrase ‘spend a penny’ as George Jennings charged a penny to use the facilities.

    Although the hall was originally built in Hyde Park to house the Great Exhibition of 1851, it was moved to Sydenham in south London after the exhibition finished, an area which then became known as Crystal Palace. In 1905 workers at the hall formed a football team and named it Crystal Palace.

    The exhibition hall, the area and the football club share more than just a name. Both club and hall suffered from financial difficulties.

    In 2010, Crystal Palace went into administration. In the 1850s, the company that built the original hall also failed to pay its debts. It had made a fundamental mistake. Most people worked six days a week with only Sundays off. The hall was only open six days a week, and it closed on a Sunday. Even a candidate on The Apprentice can spot the flaw in this business model. Most people could not visit without taking time off work, and when they did, it was pounds, not pennies the builders needed.

    Unusually, Palace’s great rival is not a London side but one that is over 40 miles away – Brighton.

    The rivalry with Brighton had simmered for several years but ‘officially’ started in 1974 when Palace was in the third division. Both sides had many away supporters, regularly taking 12,000 to each other’s grounds.

    An FA Cup match saw the rivalry boil over after Brighton was awarded a penalty. Brighton scored, but the referee ordered it retaken as a Palace player had crept into the box. The second penalty was missed, and Palace went on to win 1 – 0.

    Alan Mullery, the Brighton manager, was enraged and, as he marched off the pitch, he encountered trouble in the tunnel.

    “As I was walking up the tunnel,” he told The Guardian, “a load of boiling hot coffee was thrown over me by a Crystal Palace supporter. So I pulled a handful of change out of my pocket, threw it on the floor and shouted, ‘That’s all you’re worth, Crystal Palace.’” 

    Mullery added further insults, and gestures involving his fingers, before storming into the Palace dressing room to confront his old Tottenham Hotspur teammate and then Crystal Palace manager, Terry Venables. It was reported that Mullery threw a fiver on the floor and told El Tel he wouldn’t pay that much for the entire Palace team, which was true if 36 years too early. In 2010, following administration, he could have picked the whole team up for nothing.

    Crystal Palace adopted the Dave Clark Five song ‘Glad All Over’ as its anthem in the 1960s. It was released in November of 1963, and it got the group their first-ever number one in January the following year.

    Unlike other football songs, the transition from chart to terraces was instant. Usually, it can take several years before a song is widely accepted as tradition, but in the case of ‘Glad All Over’, it had easily caught on within the year and was a matchday tradition by the end of the decade. Since then, the song has been sung before, during and after matches (providing Palace win). 

    Perhaps part of its success in crossing over was how the Dave Clark Five wrote and recorded their songs. Their live shows were famous for audience participation, usually led by Dave Clark ‘conducting’ the crowd and getting them to stomp their feet in time to his drumming. Dave Clark has said: “I’d pay somebody 5 Pounds to go switch all the lights on and off in the ballroom, in time with the stomps. That’s what gave [us] the idea for ‘Glad All Over,’” whose chorus featured a “boom boom… Glad all over!” chorus. 

    The song’s link to the club was reinforced in 1990 when it was recorded by the squad and released for the club, reaching the FA Cup final. Unfortunately, Palace lost the final after the match was replayed following a 3 – 3 draw at the first attempt.

    The song has been adopted by Blackpool and other English Football League teams such as Rotherham United, Port Vale and Swindon Town.

    Buy the Sound of Football from Amazon.

  • Film Friday – How much swimming, biking and running can I do with a newborn baby – week 3?

    Film Friday is a weekly recommendation of one video to watch this weekend.

    How much swimming, biking and running can I do with a newborn baby – week 23 The answer may surprise you!

    It won’t. The answer is the same as week ones video – not a lot.

  • Glentress Winter Trail Half Marathon 2022 Race Report (Andrew)

    A couple of weeks ago I talked about how important it was to check the race route before running an event. The Glentree Winter Trail Half Marathon was one week after the Jimmy Irvine 10K and yet I hadn’t learnt my lesson at all. I didn’t check the route for this race either. I had assumed it would be the same as before. Big mistake.

    There are two Glentress trail races. One in November and one in February. Both races have different routes. The November race involves six miles of climbing and then six miles of running back to the start. The February race involves NINE miles of climbing and then a steep three miles back to the start. I had assumed this race would start going downhill from 6 miles onwards, instead it kept climbing and climbing… the route had changed, and this was the same as the February race!

    I don’t know why they changed it but, when you’re expecting to go downhill and have to climb another three miles, it’s not a fun realisation that you should have checked and prepared for it. My mistake. I can’t even say I wasn’t warned as I knew from the previous week that race routes can change. D’oh!

    As for the race, it was slower than previous years as I was still running after illness and injury. I was pleased to finish in under 2 and half hours but I would have been a whole lot happier with six miles of climbing instead of nine.

    For details on the race see these previous reports: Glentress and Glentress

  • Outdoor Swim Review: Carron Valley Revisted – April 2023 (Iain)

    It had only been four weeks since my previous swim at Carron Valley https://twinbikerun.com/2023/03/08/outdoor-swim-review-carron-valley-revisted-january-2023-iain/

    I said then that “I’ll try again next month once the temperature rises a few degrees.”

    Thankfully the water temperature has increased. it was a more pleasant 9.9C. I had a quick dip and it was cold but not unpleasent. Hopefully next month I can do longer swims.

    Check out the video to see what a swim in Carron Valley Reservoir is like.

    Ease of Access: https://goo.gl/maps/vkcjfRm5cx6dYWt7A Park at the gate next to the loch. Its 10m to the waterside. 

    Water quality: Warm and shallow at the edge of the loch but it can noticeably drop in temperature the further out you get. 

    Swim Quality: Excellent. Lots of things to sight against. Water is choppy but that makes it more fun!

    Other People: A couple of folk out walking and the odd car/cyclist going by. 

    Would I go back: Yes. It’s my default swim location. 

  • How to film a YouTube stretching/Yoga/pilates video (Andrew)

    After a month of watching YouTube flexibility videos every day for my 31 day stretching challenge I learned not only that I need to bend and twist and stretch more but that there are certain things you need to do if you’re going to film a video yourself. Here are my top 6 tips for filming a YouTube Yoga video.

    1. Get a lazy dog

    Yoga with Adrienne is the leading example of having a dog in your video that is neither downward or upward but actual and real. Crucially the dog must be sleeping and rarely move. You wouldn’t want my dog – Barney The Schnauzer – as he would see the camera, consider it an invasion of his privacy and start barking with all the manner and force of a football hooligan.

    2. Get a pot plant

    If you can’t get a dog then get a pot plant. It’s like a dog but without the threat of peeing on your foot during a sun salutation. Even better, why not get five plants and just scatter them randomly around your floor? Bonus points for having a plinth.

    3. Find an empty room

    The emptier the better, just remember it should look calm and serene in it’s emptiness and not like it’s been stripped by a serial killer and doubles as your Yoga Studio/kill room.

    4. Take your top off

    While many videos feature instructor in appropriate clothing there is a sub-genre where the instructor strips to the waist to, I can only assume, help you see the muscles they are stretching. This is not a genre of video that you ever see from a fat bloke – and you tend to find these videos are also accompanied by other videos called “Get MASSIVE guns in three easy move” and “You are using barbells wrong, you WIMP”.

    5. Take almost everything off

    The less said about near naked Yoga the better. I once went to a Hot Yoga class where the man in front of me was wearing just a pair of white Y-fronts. It wasn’t sexy then, it’s not sexy now. No one wants to see your barely concealed bits doing a squat.

    And, no, I’m linking to any videos!

    6. Forget the voiceover

    You can get some videos with no voice over or instructions. Instead all instructions are in text on screen, which is handy, unless you’re in the middle of a headstand, in which case you need to turn your iPad upside down too.

  • The Sound of Football: Crewe Alexandra (Andrew)

    Every fortnight we cover the best and worst football songs from every club in the UK from our book ‘The Sound Of Football: Every Club, Every Song’. You can buy it here

    Crewe Alexandra

    Nickname: The Railway Men

    Ground: The Alexandra Stadium

    Stadium Capacity: 10,066

    Song: Standing Together

    Crewe Alexandra has released two songs. One a cover of ‘Blue Moon’, more famously known as the anthem of Manchester City. And, the other, a song called ‘Standing Together’. A soft rock classic with an obligatory guitar solo.

    ‘Standing Together’ is an appropriate title for a song about Crewe Alexandra as the town of Crewe is best known for its railway junction. The junction also gives rise to Crewe’s nickname – the Railway Men.

    What’s less known is the town’s link to the most famous cartoon character in history: Mickey Mouse. The town was the birthplace of Jimmy MacDonald, who, for thirty years, was the voice of Mickey.

    Both Mickey and Crewe have helped produce young talent. In America, The Mickey Mouse Club was a TV variety show that launched the career of several artists such as Justin Timberlake, Brittney Spears and Christina Aguilera. At Crewe Alexandra, the focus on youth development has produced notable players such as Neil Lennon, David Platt and Robbie Savage. Though describing Robbie Savage as talent may be stretching the definition of ‘talent’ too far.

    It’s unclear where the Alexandra in Crewe Alexandra originated. One tale states that it took the name ‘Alexandra’ from a local hotel used by the club. Another tale states it was after Princess Alexandra of Denmark, who married Queen Victoria’s eldest son.An unusual feature of Crewe’s stadium is the absence of dugouts. However, they don’t stand together; instead, teams sit in a section of seating at the front of the main stand. The most famous part of the ground is known as the ‘Popular Side’; this is a single-tier stand where the away supporters are housed. We suspect it’s called the ‘Popular Side’ because other name is the ‘Ice Cream Van Stand’. 

    Buy the Sound of Football from Amazon.

  • No Sweat Running (Andrew)

    Prince Andrew doesn’t sweat, and I believe him because I too don’t sweat. At least not between October and April.

    Don’t get me wrong, I do sweat. I sit in a sauna and recreate the Victoria falls. But, for six months of the year, it’s really difficult to sweat in Scotland because it’s too cold. As soon as temperature drops, unless I’ve got more layers than a James Bond villain, I can go out for a run and come back completely dry.

    Sweating is meant to help cool you do. That’s why we do it. It regulates our internal temperature so we don’t overheat. But, in Glasgow, in winter, there’s no danger of that.

    Instead, it would be so much easier if Charles Darwin was right and evolution had helped Scottish athletes evolve into a cross between a runner and a Calor gas heaters. I don’t need to sweat while running, I need to turn the gas up to avoid my hands turning blue and doing a good impression of the Na’vi of Avatar.

    I know I can put on running tights, and gloves, a hat and a jacket. But that would just involve becoming half man half wardrobe. I want heat, not a catwalk.

    I must admit though I do enjoy the days I can go running and not break a sweat as, when I get back, I can think “Do I really need a shower?” and skip it when I pass the sniff test.

    You know the ‘sniff test’, don’t you? Everyone does it. A quick sniff of the armpit and, if you smell nothing, then no shower is required. (Never try this test with your feet, you’ll never leave the shower).

    April though is when the weather changes and sweating returns. It’s as much a sign of Spring as new lambs, Easter eggs and forgetting your alarm clock automatically adjusts your clock and putting it forward an hour manually only to lose two hours (or is that just me?).

    But even though sweating shows that temperatures are rising and the sun is shining, I do miss the winter months of being able to go for a run without having to shower as soon I get home.

  • Film Friday – How much swimming, biking and running can I do with a newborn baby – week 2?

    Film Friday is a weekly recommendation of one video to watch this weekend.

    How much swimming, biking and running can I do with a newborn baby – week 2? The answer may surprise you!

    It won’t. The answer is the same as week ones video – not a lot.

  • The TwinBikeRun 1,000th Blog Post Guarantee (Andrew)

    This is our 1,000th post and, as we look to the future, we offer the following guarantee:

    No intelligence (artificial or otherwise) will ever be used to write a blog post on TwinBikeRun!

  • The Sound of Football: Crawley Town (Andrew)

    Every fortnight we cover the best and worst football songs from every club in the UK from our book ‘The Sound Of Football: Every Club, Every Song’. You can buy it here

    Crawley Town

    Nickname: The Red Devils

    Ground: Broadfield Stadium

    Stadium Capacity: 5,973

    Song: A Message To You Rooney

    Club songs are generally upbeat; they instil a sense of pride and should bring fans and clubs closer together. Unfortunately, for one Crawley Town fan, Mike Dobie, his song saw him banned by his club.

    In 2011, Crawley Town was a non-league side. The club was drawn to play fellow Red Devils, Manchester United, at Old Trafford during a FA Cup run. To celebrate, Mike Dobie wrote a song called ‘A Message To You Rooney’, a re-working of ‘A Message To You Rudy’ by The Specials.

    Mike’s celebration didn’t last long. A Manchester United fan complained to Crawley that Mike had made airplane gestures in the video to mock the Munich air crash victims, the 1958 tragedy that had cost the lives of many of United’s players. Crawley was appalled and promptly banned the song and the man behind it.

    After playing and losing to United, the club has had success. It was promoted to the Football League, and then, at the first attempt, it was promoted on the last day of the 2012/13 season from League 2 to League 1.

    The only other time the club has featured in a song was when portly manager Steve Evans left the club. Although Steve brought on-field success, his methods were not popular with players or fans. When news broke that he had accepted an offer to manage Rotherham, the players were filmed singing a rendition of ‘We’re Singing A Song ‘Cos The Fat Man’s Gone’ and Chubby Checker’s ‘Twist Again,’ to celebrate his exit.

    Buy the Sound of Football from Amazon.