Hyrox: The Aftermath (Andrew)

Hyrox is not a great event to include in a consistent triathlon training programme. While it does involve running, it’s not really a run. It uses the arms, back and shoulders so could help with the swim but the only thing you’re swimming in is the sweat from the other half naked competitors. It’s a hybrid event but one that requires a couple of days to recover as my legs were still gubbed five days later but at least by then I could at least bend over and pull my socks on. At the start of the week, bending over was painful and stiff on Monday. Then on Tuesday, my forearms became numb and stiff too. I couldn’t work out at first why they were now sore when they were fine on Sunday and Monday. I took me a couple of hours to realise that as both forearms were sore in the same place then it’s likely to be internal bruising from catching the 6kg wall ball 100 times. Hyrox: the sport that keeps on giving… internal injuries. 

Race Report – Hyrox Glasgow 2024 (Andrew)

For more on Hyrox you can read my race report from last year: here (part one) and here (part two)

I’m assuming for this race report that you now know everything about Hyrox and what happens when you take part. If not, then please complete the homework above and then come back to this paragraph.

Homework complete, this year’s Hyrox was spread over two days and had 4,000 athletes complete at the SECC. It was so busy, that athletes were still being sent out in waves at 8pm. Admittedly, and sensibly, the faster athletes went later so there was no risk that someone was still trying to complete the wall balls at midnight.

We were in the 1840 wave, which was late, but it looked like the waves were being sent out in alphabetical order. As TwinBikeRun we were in the T wave, which was ironic as we couldn’t have any T(ea) as we were racing at dinner time. Instead, I had a large lunch, then an afternoon snack, then I regretted eating too much and felt myself too full during the race. Better planning needed in the future. Or better eating. I could just have had less sweet things and more fruit and fibre…

Unlike last year, there was a changing room for competitors. Last year we had to use a toilet to get changed, this year we had a corner of a hall surrounded by Heras fencing. Unfortunately, Heras fencing doesn’t overlap, it has gaps between fencing so it was less a changing room and more a peep show for anyone who fancied seeing some male nudity.

Not that they needed to – just like last year, Hyrox seems to remove most male sense of decency as half the competitors race topless. Why? I have no idea. You spend part of the event with your chest on the ground doing burpees, why you would to be naked on the same spot everyone else has sweated on is something I don’t understand. Are they more aerodynamic? Is a macho thing? Did they just forget their gym kit and, like a Primary School PE class, they’re made to take part anyway? I have no idea. But if you do decide to take part, please remember your tshirt. If not for me, at least for my wife, who dammed the confidence of all of wannabe adonis last year by loudly saying “It’s not like they’re even braw!”

For this second attempt, I practiced my burpees by training properly. Well, maybe not training. I watched a couple of videos on YouTube to confirm the right technique. This meant the burpees were not as horrible as last year.

I also tried a different approach to the farmer’s carry. Last year, after chalking my hands to carry the weights, I’d sweated away the chalk by the halfway point. This year I put a chunk of chalk in my short pocket and reapplied it when my hands started to slip. Smart. (And I don’t think it was cheating as I couldn’t find anything in the rules that say you can’t use the chalk again).

Overall, a great event that is well run, filled with a variety of challenges and well worth a go if you fancy something different.

Jimmy Irvine 10K 2023 Race Report (Andrew)

There is a shop near me that sells paintings of post war Glasgow for £10. In the many years that I’ve passed this shop, I’ve never seen a single painting sold. It may be that the reason it doesn’t sell any paintings is that the shop is not a gallery, instead it’s a print shop filled with photocopies and industrial printers. The paintings do not appear in the shop at all either. They are just in one window, facing a side street. The window contains a handful of paintings and a very faded price. Or it may be that the paintings are awful. Not Iain TwinBikeRun awful – see here – but awful in a way which suggests the Glasgow post war was mainly smiling barefooted children in tenements and trams. I’m not surprised no one has ever bought a painting. You couldn’t give them away. Unless they were handed out at the end of a race.

The Jimmy Irvine 10k always has a hand made t-shirt with a black and white drawing showing runners and the man himself, Jimmy Irvine, and it is alway… well… let’s just say the artist must like trams and tykes too.

However, don’t let that stop you entering one of the most popular late season races in Glasgow. With over 500 people taking part, it’s a great race that is very well organised and one which presents a undulating end to the year.

This year, an early cold snap meant parts of the course had to be gritted with sand to help remove any frost or the chance of ice. But, while cold, the day itself was a crystal clear blue sky and I was glad to be wearing a t-shirt in the sun.

As the race is hilly, with some longer slopes, rather than any steep climbs, I was hoping to finish in around 48 minutes. However, I was feeling strong and kept pushing to run faster, and finished by surprising myself with 44 minutes. This is the fastest I’ve run a 10k in 20 years, which either shows how much I’ve improved in the last couple of years, or how slow I was 20 years ago. I can’t decide yet…

Outdoor Swim Review: Findhorn Beach 2024 (Andrew)

The best thing about Findhorn Beach, apart from the soft sand, fancy beach huts and fascinating WW2 MOD fortifications is that if the weather is foul you can always swim instead in Findhorn Bay. See reports here and here. That way you can check the beach to see if conditions are okay for swimming and, if not, you can still swim in the sheltered calm of the bay. However, for this visit, the sea was flat calm, the skies were blue, the thermometer was hitting 20 and Findhorn was doing a good job of imitating the Caribbean. I couldn’t have had better conditions or a location for a sea swim.

REVIEW

Ease of Access: There’s plenty of parking beside the beach. There used to be a sign that warned that parking costs £1. However, I’d never paid anything and nothing happened and now it’s disappeared so I’m assuming that parking is now free.

There’s plenty of grass beside the car park and it’s easy to walk to the beach, even barefooted.

Water quality: Very clear. There’s also plenty of room to swim before the beach starts to drop away. You can easily move away from shore and still, not only see the bottom, but also find places to stand and keep your head above water. The water temperature was c15 degrees.

Swim Quality: Excellent – at high tide, the sea was calm and there were views straight across the Moray Firth. Watch out for the estuary though – someone has told me it has a “whopping great whirlpool”, not sure if that’s true but I’d definitely avoid swimming near it and head east along the beach only.

Other People: Findhorn Beach is popular but, at more than five miles long there’s plenty of quiet spots away from entrance to the car park.

Would I go back: Yes.

Charity Ends At Home (Andrew)

How many times have you been asked to sponsor someone? Whether it’s a marathon, a bungee jump or growing a moustache, we are asked all the time to give money for a good cause. In return, we promise to say “Well done!” when the race is over, the bungee rope holds or the moustache looks more like Henry Cavill in Mission Impossible than Henry the Hoover after vacuuming the hairs around a barber’s chair. And that’s it. Nothing else needed. Hand over cash, say congratulations. There’s nothing else to do. Because why would you do anything else? It’s a donation to charity. You don’t expect to get if refunded, do you..?

Until a few years ago, I’ve never thought to check up on the sponsored person. I’ve never checked whether someone has ran around London or abandoned their razor. I just pay my money and I forget about it until I see an email saying “Thank you!”

Even if they don’t complete the race, or even start, or if they remain bumfluff free for the next six months, I wouldn’t never go back and ask for my money back. So why am I talking about it now? I’m talking about it because at the weekend I was reminded that when I raised money for driving from Plymouth to the Gambia, and the car broke down on day one – see the race diaries – someone asked for their sponsorship money back.

“I heard you crashed out,” they said when I met them a few days after returning home.

“Well, we didn’t crash,” I said, “the engine just failed. There was nothing we could do. The car couldn’t travel faster than 10mph. We could have kept going but we’d still be driving to Africa next year, if we stayed in the car. We had no choice but to quit.”

“So you don’t finish it?” They asked.

“No, we didn’t finish it” I said.

“In that case, can I have my money back?”

They’d sponsored me £50. Or more accurately they’d sponsored Action for Children fifty pounds.

I thought they were joking so I said: “Would you like interest on that too?”

And they said, in the same tone they would speak to their bank manager: “no, the interest would be next to nothing. I only gave you the money two weeks ago. You can keep the interest.”

“That’s kind of you,” I said but that’s not what I was thinking, they genuinely wanted their money back.

“You can pay tomorrow,” they said, “otherwise I will have to charge interest.” And they weren’t joking when they said that.

And I paid them because what other choice did I have? We had asked for sponsorship to reach Africa and we’d only spent one hour in France before the car broke down. They were quite right to ask for their money back. We’d been sponsored to travel, not sponsored to quit.

That’s why it’s important when receiving any sponsorship request to write back immediately with a lists of conditions for your sponsorship. The first, of course, being that any money gifted is conditional of them completing the event. The second is that interest WILL APPLY if any refund is not paid within 48 hours. The third is that you know a man who will kick their door if they don’t pay.

I guarantee these conditions will mean you will never lose money again when sponsoring someone – because you will never again be asked again to sponsor anyone.

My Year 2023 (Andrew)

My main aim for the year was to take part in Celtman Solo Point Five, and the stats reflect that. The longest ride, highest climb and longest swim are all from that race. With a dodgy foot for part of the year I was also pleased to get a 15 mile run but not so pleased that I think that was the reason I hurt my foot and meant I couldn’t run during April and May.

Overall, I was more active, went further and climbed higher than in 2022, though not my much. But with injuries, I’m just pleased I managed to take part in Celtman – even though I was among the last to cross the finish line. Read about it here.

Website 2023 (Andrew)

Many thanks again to all visitors, regular readers, casual browsers, specific kinksters who are into TwinBikePorn but Google autocomplete sent them to the wrong site, and anyone might just have accidentally found themselves here.

2023 saw the website visited over 13,000 times and saw a steady increase in new visits and visitors from around the world.

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