Category Archives: Andrew

The Sound of Football: Accrington Stanley (Andrew)

Every fortnight we cover the best and worst football songs from every club in the UK from our book ‘The Sound Of Football: Every Club, Every Song’. You can buy it here

Accrington Stanley

Nickname: Stanley

Ground: Crown Ground (currently known as The Wham Stadium until 2021)

Stadium Capacity: 5,070

Song: On Stanley, On

Sir Walter Scott’s epic poem ‘Marmion’ describes one of Scotland’s heaviest military defeats, the battle of Flodden Field (1513). The English army routed the Scottish army after killing King James IV of Scotland.

Accrington Stanley’s song ‘On Stanley, On’ was inspired by a line in the poem.

’Charge, Chester, charge!  On, Stanley, on!’

Were the last words of Marmion.”

(Source: Marmion, Sir Walter Scott, public)

The “Stanley” referred to in the poem is Edward, the first Earl of Derby, and not the team. Instead, two journalists, Harry Crossley and Allan Lamber borrowed this line to write a song to inspire Accrington Stanley to victory against Torquay United after the club reached the third round of the FA Cup in 1953, the first time Stanley had got that far in almost 30 years. 

The song’s lyrics were published in the Accrington Observer on 12 December 1953. A version of the song, recorded by the Accrington Male Voice Choir, was played over the loudspeaker before the game. The music helped inspire Stanley to a 2 – 2 draw, though the replay saw Flodden Field recreated, as Stanley was slaughtered 5 – 1.

‘On Stanley, On’ became a popular song for supporters in the 1950s and 1960s with new versions recorded, including one by the local band Red Dawn and the Stanley Choir. However, the club itself was not so popular. It collapsed in 1966, and its current incarnation was formed in 1968. 

Stanley’s collapse and resurrection was, for many years, the most famous thing about the club. However, as it has steadily climbed the league, it has become more well-known. A fact that led to considerable angst for the band Accrington Stanley. As their lead singer, Dan O’Farrell, explained in 2013, they were counting on the club remaining obscure:

We chose [our] name in early 1986… purely because I had this ace book called The History of Football, and there was a picture of a football crowd watching an Accrington Stanley match in the 1930s… Accrington Stanley was only ever mentioned as a sad story from going bust in the 60s. It had the ring of the underdog about it. Now, [their name is] a bit of a pain, as it renders us very hard to Google or find on YouTube.

‘On Stanley On’s’ popularity has waned in recent decades. However, in May 2011, the Accrington Observer campaigned to resurrect it for a crunch play-off tie with Stevenage Borough. Reporters for the paper handed out song sheets to fans before the game. Sadly, the song couldn’t inspire the players to another famous result, Stanley lost its home game 2 – 0 and the return leg 1 – 0.

Before the game, Accrington Stanley chief executive Rob Heys told the Observer:

I’ve heard the song a few times. There is a lot of history associated with it. I am sure some of the older supporters remember it fondly, and if people were to sing it again, that would be great.”

Another link between Stanley and Flodden Field made ‘On Stanley On’ a perfect line to borrow for a football song.

King James IV of Scotland was the last British King to die on a battlefield. After the battle, his body was taken to Sheen Priory in Richmond, Surrey, where it remained until the 16th century before it disappeared – though it’s believed it’s buried underneath the fairway of the Royal Mid-Surrey Golf Club.

While the body remains missing, at least until the golf club decides to check beneath the 14th green, there’s an easy way to identify King James once found – he has no head. This is because the King’s head became detached from his body before being transported to Sheen Priory. And, legend has it, the last time anyone saw the King’s head was when a group of Elizabethan workmen found it and decided they would use it to play a game… a game of football.

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Film Friday – A Day in the Life of Jonny Brownlee (Andrew)

The YouTube summary describes this video as:

“What does a day in the life of triathlon superstar Jonny Brownlee look like? Take a look at Jonny’s triathlon training, recovery, nutrition, relaxing at home and meet the dogs in this candid and unique view into his life in Yorkshire!”

What it should say is:

“Do you want to see how Jonny Brownlee hangs his wetsuit, does his washing and how he keeps his trainers in the back of his car? Take a look at Jonny’s non-glamorous triathlon training in this candid and unique view in his life in Yorkshire!”

A very good video to show what an average day looks like for a world champion who has to keep his kit in his car just like everyone else.

The Sound of Football: Aberdeen (Andrew)

Every fortnight we cover the best and worst football songs from every club in the UK from our book ‘The Sound Of Football: Every Club, Every Song’. You can buy it here

Nickname: The Dons

Aberdeen

Ground: Pittodrie Stadium

Stadium Capacity: 21,421

Song: The Northern Lights of Aberdeen

In 1983, Bayern Munich had a team filled with legendary players: Breitner, Augenthaler, Hoeness, and Rummenigge. Names that were as well known then as BMW or Audi today.  

Aberdeen had Mark McGhee. When he walked into a room, even his wife asked, “who are you, and why are you in my kitchen?”

When Aberdeen met Bayern Munich in the 1983 European Cup Winner’s Cup quarter-final, it should have been no contest; Bayern would win. But, after drawing the first leg in Munich 0 – 0, Pittodrie’s greatest night followed.

Bayern scored first, then Aberdeen equalised. Bayern scored again, but a well-practiced free-kick led to Alex McLeish drawing Aberdeen level. One minute later, striker John Hewitt added a third. Despite late pressure, Aberdeen held on and won the game 3 – 2.

As the referee blew the final whistle, Alex Ferguson leapt from the dugout to run onto the pitch. It was a legendary night for a legendary manager – and one followed a few months later when Aberdeen won the European Cup Winner’s Cup final 2 – 1 against Real Madrid. A victory soundtracked by the European Song – a record so popular that an initial run of 100,000 copies sold out, and more copies had to be issued to satisfy demand. 

The European Song wasn’t the cup final’s only musical legacy.  The final was one of the first matches where fans could be heard singing a chant that would dominate Eighties football:

Here we, here we, here we f*****g go!

(Source: public)

Despite his success, Sir Alex, as he would become known, is only the second most famous man to have worked at Aberdeen. We’d argue the most famous Aberdonian is former coach Donald Colman. Who, you may ask?

In the 1930s, Donald Colman had a successful career with Motherwell and Aberdeen, where he was appointed club captain and capped by Scotland three times. However, it was his post-playing career that saw him achieve football immortality

Colman loved feet, but not in a kinky way. When appointed as a coach, he persuaded the club to dig a hole at the side of the pitch. Colman would stand in it and have his head level with the player’s feet. Donald believed players needed to work constantly on their footwork, which he could see far better from his vantage point below pitch level. 

When English club Everton visited Aberdeen a few years later, it saw Donald’s ‘dugout’ and created its own at Goodison. Soon every club followed until we have the airport lounge/dugout for today’s modern pampered footballer.

If standing up was Donald’s obsession, he would have been proud that fans have adopted a chant called Stand Free. 

Stand free wherever you may be,
We are the famous Aberdeen,
We don’t give a f**k
whoever you may be,
We are the famous Aberdeen.

(Source: public)

The tune is from the Lord of the Dance and is shared with other clubs, including Hibernian (We Are Hibernian FC) and St Mirren (We’ll Go Wherever St Mirren Go). If you want a song just for Aberdeen, then you need to meet Mary Webb. But, again, you may ask, who?

Mrs. Webb was the co-songwriter behind Aberdeen’s anthem, The Northern Lights of Old Aberdeen, a song played by the club and by the city. Yet when Mrs. Webb died, nobody mentioned her passing. She was forgotten, even though her song had become the unofficial anthem of Aberdeen. 

Mary and her husband William wrote the song in the 1950s to cheer up a homesick colleague. Mary worked in London and thought the song would help a friend, Winnie Forgie. It did, and it helped thousands more. Including, as Aberdeen’s Evening Express reported in March 2019, providing comfort to sailors fighting in the Falklands conflict. One letter from a sailor to Mary said:

We are a Scottish ship, and on the evening, we were all clustered on the front end of the ship under the cold skies of San Carlos Water, waiting for the bomb to be defused, the Captain said ‘Sing!’ So we sang, and the first song that came to the lips of the most vocal member of the Ship’s company was your song, and of course everybody joined in, and it made us all feel better. “

This is the perfect song to remind us how important the sound of football is to fans. Of course, not every club wins a league or wins a cup. Not every club can be a success. But still, the fans sing, whether winning or losing, and all they can ask is for a song that makes them feel better. 

Today, the Northern Lights of Aberdeen can be heard regularly at Pittodrie – along with a few other words that we have had hide with asterisks.

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The World’s Highest Bridge Bungee Jump – Part 2 (Andrew)

Find Part 1 here

I will start by saying that I had no intention of jumping off the world’s highest bungee bridge. We were driving across South Africa blissfully unaware that such a thing as the world’s highest bridge bungee existed when we drove round a corner, saw a bridge across a deep gorge, saw a sign offering the chance to jump of it and we thought “fek that, I’m not jmping off that!” and drove on…

Only to turn around 10 minutes later on the basis that “when will we ever be here again? Never, that’s when, so we should just do it!”

So, we did, even though I hate heights, hate flying and hate the very thought of bungee jumping.

We were lucky, or unlucky, as it was mid-week and they could let us jump straight away. I say jump but, as you’ll see from the video below, I didn’t jump. In fact, I can reveal now that this was less a bungee jump and more a case of attempted murder. I was pushed off the bridge! I didn’t volunteer, I was shoved in the back and made to fly against my will!

My wife on the other hand practically ran up and jumped it faster than an Olympic long jumper.

“Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,” she screamed in excitement.

“WWWWWWWWwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaattttttt ttttttttthhhheeeee ffffffffffuuuuuuuuucccccccccc……” I screamed.

And screamed again when the bungee reached it’s limit and pulled me back up like a human yo-yo.

Which it did again and again as I never realised that because the cord is elastic you keep bouncing back and forth and dropping again and again, each time worse than the last because each time you know is the time you will die. You were just lucky the first time that the cord didn’t snap. But can you be lucky twice? Three times? You can’t be lucky four times, this time you’re going to die?

“WWWWWWWWwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaattttttt ttttttttthhhheeeee ffffffffffuuuuuuuuucccccccccc……” I scream again.

Until, finally, the bouncing stops and I’m left staring at the rocks below and with a new found belief in the Lord Almighty, who must have surely heard my cries even as far away as Heaven.

I hated every single second of it and I will never do it again.But if this sounds like something you want to do then, when the world opens up, here everything you need to know about it: https://www.faceadrenalin.com

But don’t say I didn’t warn you.

The World’s Highest Bridge Bungee Jump – Part 1 (Andrew)

While clearing the attic I found a box of homemade DVDs left by the previous owner, one of which was marked in red ink: ‘Max’s Stag’.

I’d watch ‘Max’s Stag’ if it wasn’t the case that finding old home movies in the attic is the exact plot of Sinister and, tonight, after watching it, I’ll be dragged to hell by the demon Baghuul.

Who records a stag and then burns a DVD for everyone? What kind of stag do was it?

Steve: “I brought the handcuffs.”

Michael: “I brought the blow up doll.”

Max – “Lol, very good guys, you’re just trying to make me nervous.”

Bob – “Just wait to see who we hired for the pub crawl! It’s a surprise but if you’ve ever seen the Wizard of Oz then you’ll know who we’ve got…. we got a midget dressed as a munchkin!”

Max – “You guys are the best! Now, Jamie, what did you bring?”

Jamie – “Well, I thought I’d bring my camcorder so we could record the whole event and maybe we could sit down one weekend with a cup of tea and a chocolate Club biscuit to watch it again.”

Everyone – “Yay!”

Part of me wonders if the previous owner is desperate to find this DVD. Maybe they’d left it in the attic because it was never meant to be found? Maybe they’d wanted to take it away with them because what happened on Max’s stag was meant to stay on Max’s stag, including the location of the shallow grave they dug to bury the hooker. Maybe the previous owner woke up in a cold sweat a few months after moving and thought: “FFS, did I leave the evidence in the attic!”

Or maybe that’s what Baghuul wants us to think to tempt us to watch the DVD? Maybe this is just an elaborate set up to unleash Satan? If so, perhaps it’s better to just smash it with a hammer and not bring about the apocalypse.

Also I don’t have a DVD player so there is that too.

I might as well be trying to watch Betamax than try and watch a DVD. Instead, if I want to watch an old video I need to turn to YouTube. Which, as far as I know, will not summon Beelzebub.

However, finding the DVD reminded me that I last watched a DVD 10 years ago when I uploaded a video to YouTube so that I wouldn’t lose it if something happened to the DVD itself. I wasn’t on Max’s Stag though, I was jumping from Bloukarans Bridge in South Africa. Luckily I had a bungee cord wrapped around me as otherwise I wouldn’t be able to tell you my tale next week when I share the story of what happened when I tried to jump off the highest bridge bungee in the world.

To be continued….

Film Friday: Olympic Swimmer Attempts Navy SEAL Test (Andrew)

A Ronseal video – it does exactly what it says on the tin/YouTube link. An Olympic swimmer, a former world record holder, attempts to pass the fitness test to become a Navy SEAL, the US equivalent of the SAS.

While the video is largely filmed at one track and doesn’t feature any rotating drone shots or epic landscapes it does feature one thing you may not have seen before – an entirely new swim stroke. It turns out that the Navy SEALs use a combination of breast stroke and free style to swim in a hybrid stroke that looks like you’re constantly changing your mind about what stoke to use while swimming. Check it out.

Film Friday – The Town That Exists For A Week (Andrew)

Not quite a sporting video this week but one that features a town where everyone cycles rather than drives – and it only exists for one week a year.

This is the town of Black Rock City. If you don’t know Black Rock City it’s a town that exists for just a week each year as an entire community is built for the Burning Man festival. And we’re not just talking about a collection of tents, like at Glastonbury or any other UK festival. This is a proper town with shops, roads, bars and massive sky high works of art.

As the video explains the town is so big that the only way to get around is to use your bike, all of which are modified and decorated like a Mad Max extra.

I don’t know when Burning Man will go ahead again but, if it does, this video provides a fascinating look at the town Burning Man built.

Tom Cruise Couldn’t Do This (Andrew)

As lockdown has had more sequels than Mission Impossible, it seems apt that throughout each one – from ‘Lockdown: The Original Series’ to ‘Friday The 13th Lockdown This Week’ – I’ve become Tom Cruise.

For the last year, Iain TwinBikeRun has made videos of local bike routes and running trails. And, just like Martin Scorsese needs Robert De Niro, Iain TwinBikeRun needed a star for his videos – and who else to turn to than me!

Just like Tom Cruise, I can run.

Just like Tom Cruise, I have a nose so big and pointy I can use it to pot a snooker ball.

But, unlike Tom Cruise, I don’t believe I’m filled with tiny space aliens controlling my mind as I wait for the mothership to descend from the outreaches of the cosmos and whisk me away to intergalactic heaven.

So, basically, I’m 1980s Tom Cruise and not 2020 Tom Cruise. I’m the Cool Cruise! Cocktail Cruise! Maverick!

But what Tom Cruise doesn’t tell you is how hard it is to run on camera. I’ve been running on camera for Iain TwinBikeRun for a year and it goes something like this:

Iain TwinBikeRun: “Run up that hill!”

Me: Ok!

[Runs half a mile up a hill]

Ian TwinBikeRun (Shouting): “Come back.”

I do.

And I run it again because he wants a different angle. And then again because he had his thumb over the camera lens. And then again because he wants an overhead shot with a drone. By the time I’m finished, I’ve been up and down more often than Tom Cruise on Oprah Winfrey’s sofa proclaiming his love for ‘her from Dawson’s Creek’. And I’ve covered more miles than a tarmac spreader.

Tom Cruise makes it look easy. He’s always running on camera. However, I can now see that not only is he a great actor he must also be a great ultra runner because that’s the only way he could get through a day’s filming. If Mission Impossible was accurate he should show him spending 10 minutes each film bent over with his hands on his knees and saying “Just give me a minute, I just need to get my breath back!”.

So, when you watch the videos, spare a thought for the Tom Cruise impersonator running through them. I know I make it look easy but, just like Tom Cruise, I would also like a spaceship to swoop down and rescue me when I hear Iain TwinBikeRun shout for yet another take.

Training for Celtman – Four Weeks to Go (Andrew)

Last week, as it looked like Moray was going to remain in Tier 3 lockdown restrictions while the rest of Scotland moved to Tier 2, I wrote my friends and colleagues in Moray a song:

When the COVID’s sky high in Findrassie and Roseisle

That’s a-Moray!

Where the police block the streets if more than two people meet

That’s a-Moray!

When masks are in bins because “we got the vaccine!”

That’s a-Moray!

When we’re ruled by the SNP but we all voted for a Tory…

That’s a-Moray! (A-Moray!)

That’s a-Moray!

Of course, three days later it was announced that Moray was not the only region to remain in Tier 3, Glasgow was also going to remain in Tier 3. Which means that we can no longer travel outside the city as the rest of the country will be Tier 2 and you can’t leave a Tier 3 area to go to an area with a lower rating.

Which means, for the moment, I cannot travel to Celtman or to some of my favourite swimming spots. With four weeks to go, unless anything changes, it looks very unlikely I’ll be taking part in Celtman as: (a) I might not be able to travel to the Highlands; or (b) even if I could, I won’t be ready to swim.

I’ll see what happens in the next four weeks but I put my chances now at less than 25%.