Every fortnight we cover the best and worst football songs from every club in the UK from our book ‘The Sound Of Football: Every Club, Every Song’. You can buy it here

Ayr United

Nickname: The Honest Men

Ground: Somerset Park

Stadium Capacity: 10,185

Song: Back In Black

Before Lionel Messi, there was Jimmy Smith.

World-famous ex-Barcelona striker Lionel Messi holds the record for most goals scored in La Liga. However, less well-known Ayr United striker, Jimmy Smith, has the UK record for most goals scored in a single season. In 1927/1928, he scored 66 times in just 38 games. To put this into perspective, this is more goals in one season than most Ayr United squads have managed in the last 25 years. Two decades of underachievement has meant that Ayr is now a solid if unspectacular side that has found its level in the first and second division. Yet, 25 years ago, the future of the club could have taken a very different path.

In 1988 Edinburgh businessman, David Murray offered to buy the team. Murray was a rugby man, but he wanted to use his wealth to own and run a football club. Controversially his bid was rejected by a vote of Ayr’s shareholders. It was said that the shareholders had been influenced by Ayr United’s then-current manager, Ally McLeod, who had threatened to quit if Murray was successful.

Ally was an Ayr legend. He’d led the club into the First Division and the inaugural Premier League. His side had defeated Rangers in front of Somerset Park’s record crowd, and he’d led the club to the semi-finals of both the League and Scottish Cup. A feat that saw him voted Ayr’s Citizen of the Year in 1973.

But, for most football fans, Ally is remembered for only one thing: Scotland’s ill-fated 1978 World Cup campaign.

Ally was a naturally animated character, so his confidence and enthusiasm proved infectious. After Scotland defeated England 2 – 1 at Wembley in 1977, the nation believed that not only would World Cup success follow, so would the trophy itself. Scotland was going to win the World Cup!

This self-belief was so strong even the official World Cup single, ‘Ally’s Tartan Army,’ sings of the team’s triumph. When Ally was asked what he would do after the World Cup, he said, “retain it.“. The song was just as optimistic. Its chorus sang: “we’ll shake ’em up when we win the World Cup.” Note: it doesn’t say “if” the team won it. Instead, it sang of “when” Scotland would win it.

The tournament was a disaster. An opening draw with Iran followed an opening defeat to Peru. To qualify, Scotland needed to win by at least four goals against its final opponents, Holland, but, despite scoring one of the World Cup’s greatest goals – Archie Gemmell’s celebrated individual strike – they could only win 3 – 2. It was not enough, and Ally’s tournament was over.

By 1985 Ally Macleod was on his third spell as manager of Ayr. His voice carried a lot of weight. When Ally said “no” to David Murray, the shareholders listened and rejected the offer.

After his bid was rejected, David Murray invested in Rangers instead, helping them win nine titles in a row, and coming within one game of the European Cup final.

Ayr, on the other hand, struggled. Ally managed to win the second division title before leaving the club for the last time in 1989, but subsequent managers have not managed to reach the same heights. A recent highlight was reaching the semi-finals of the League Cup in 2012. However, a 1 – 0 defeat to local rivals Kilmarnock and subsequent relegation from the first division later that year meant that the campaign was unsuccessful.

Ayr does have a musical claim to fame. Scottish rock band Biffy Clyro has claimed that it is named after a footballer who played for Ayr United. However, as Somerset Park has never seen a Mr. Biffy Clyro, the band has also claimed they got their name after a Finnish footballer from the 17th century and a Welsh astronaut who had tried to become the first man on the moon, this may be another tall tale. 

Ayr United walk out to ‘Back In Black’ by AC/DC. This is not a reference to its financial position: it’s always been in the red ever since rejecting David Murray.

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Every fortnight we cover the best and worst football songs from every club in the UK from our book ‘The Sound Of Football: Every Club, Every Song’. You can buy it here

Aston Villa

Nickname: The Claret & Blue

Stadium: Villa Park

Stadium Capacity: 42,788

Song: The Bells Are Ringing

Maybe it’s an Eton thing? Both former prime minister David Cameron, and Prince William, ex-Etonians, are fans of Aston Villa. 

David Cameron’s the nephew of former Villa chairman Sir William Dugdale. Sir William took the former prime minister to his first ever game when Cameron was a 13-year-old pupil at Eton. The prime minister has (mostly) supported the club ever since*.

The reason why Prince William supports Aston Villa is harder to find. The Prince has never publicly revealed why he supports Villa – though there’s an urban myth that Prince William said he supported Aston Villa because it was in the country’s middle. 

We have another theory. It’s a simple one. Aston Villa won the European Cup in May 1982. Prince William was born in June 1982. Coincidence? Quite possibly, but, maybe, just maybe, our future King is a fan of the Claret & Blue because when he was born, he wanted to support the best team in Europe – and, at that time, the best team in Europe was Aston Villa.

Success, however, is fleeting.

For the first part of the decade, Aston Villa has flattered to deceive. Despite promising managers like Martin O’Neill and Paul Lambert; a youth set up that has produced players like Gabriel Agbonlahor, Gareth Barry, and Gary Cahill; and a chairman who could have taught ‘The Joy of Sex’ (his name is Randy Lerner), the team hasn’t delivered on its potential.

It all seemed so different at the European Cup Final in Amsterdam in 1982. Despite two goals disallowed, Aston Villa beat Bayern Munich 1 – 0. It should have sparked a glorious run, but the team lost the cup just a few days later while out drinking in a local pub. An opportunistic thief nabbed it when he spotted the team in The Fox Inn in Hopwas, near Tamworth.

The cup wasn’t lost for long. A couple of hours later, the trophy was anonymously handed into West Midlands police, who did the right thing but not before holding a five-a-side tournament. Of course, the winning team claimed bragging rights and a photo with the trophy. It was only after they’d finished celebrating that the West Midland police phoned the club to tell it the cup had been found.

As success is fleeting, Aston Villa has had a unique approach to its walk on music. Before home games, fans could vote for the song the team will come out to.

Favourite songs have included Black Sabbath’s ‘Paranoid’ and ‘Welcome To The Jungle’ by Guns N Roses. Other songs featuring prominently in the poll are ‘We Will Rock You’ by Queen, Fatboy Slim’s ‘Right Here Right Now,’ ‘Hi Ho Silver Lining’ by Jeff Beck, ‘Thunderstruck’ by AC/DC, U2’s ‘Beautiful Day’ and ‘Song 2’ by Blur. All great songs, but not original songs for the club. For that, we need to turn to ‘The Bells Are Ringing.’ 

The Bells Are Ringing refers to the bells of Aston Parish Church, which is situated on Witton Lane, only yards from Villa Park. It was a common tradition for the church to ring the bells before every game on home soil. And the song commemorates this strong tradition.

In 2011, the club was brought back by the club as a fan anthem. There was only one problem. The song repeatedly calls Villa the best team in the land. Which even die-hard fans like David Cameron and Prince William know is no longer valid. But, just as success is fleeting, so is a failure, and the glory days may yet return to Villa Park. Or, if not Villa Park, perhaps West Midland Police – if an enterprising fan spots another team celebrating the European Cup triumph down their local boozer and decides to make off with the trophy.

*Though David Cameron is not their biggest fan. He was famously slipped up in 2015 when he urged an audience to support his team, West Ham, when he meant Aston Villa. Although to be fair, many Aston Villa fans that year, watching relegation battles before eventual demotion to the Championship, would have loved to forget they supported the club too.

Buy the Sound of Football from Amazon.

Every fortnight we cover the best and worst football songs from every club in the UK from our book ‘The Sound Of Football: Every Club, Every Song’. You can buy it here

Arsenal

Nickname: The Gunners

Stadium: Emirates Stadium

Stadium Capacity: 60,361

Song: Good Old Arsenal

She doesn’t strike you as a Gooner. Her majesty. Queen Elizabeth II. But when ‘Gooner’ is derived from ‘Gunner’ and was bestowed on Arsenal’s original fans because they worked at a weapons factory in Woolwich, it all makes sense. So who has the biggest cannons in the world? Take a guess. And it’s not Pornhub. Nor is it the Pope. He has canons. Instead, yes, you guessed it; it’s Queen Elizabeth II, commander in chief of the armed forces and ruler of the British Empire.

It’s no surprise Her Majesty supports a team that was once a significant force but whose fortunes have been on the slide. A team that was the first to be broadcast on radio; the first to be broadcast on television; and the first to be blocked by everyone in the world after Piers Morgan banged on about them every minute of every hour of every day on Twitter. And a team who seems to think that first is what you get if you eat too much salt. Let’s just say, if Arsenal were the monarch, we’d politely say, “you’re looking well, your majesty”, and not ask how many countries she’s conquered lately.

The Queen is not the only member of the Royal Family to support Arsenal. Prince Harry is also a fan of the Gunners. We can only guess why someone who is fourth in line for the throne and moves further away with each year would be attracted to Arsenal.

Arsenal, unlike Queen Elizabeth, has a notable first (she, of course, is the second of her name). In 1971, Arsenal released a single to celebrate reaching the FA Cup final. The song was the indirect result of a competition to find a song for Arsenal which could rival Liverpool’s ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone. However, unlike that song (which we talk about later), Arsenal wanted an original song and not one borrowed from the charts. Instead, a TV competition organised by ITV tried to find a worthy song. However, none of the entries were considered right, and football pundit Jimmy Hill (who will pop up again for his musical legacy for Coventry City) asked the then Arsenal manager, Bertie Mee, for permission to write a song for the club instead. Bertie said yes, and Jimmy wrote “Good Old Arsenal” to the tune of “Rule, Britannia.” This became the first record released to be performed by a football team’s squad to commemorate the club reaching the FA Cup final. 

The Queen and Prince Harry are not the only famous fans of Arsenal. If you ask the average Gooner to name a famous fan, the Queen would not be their first choice. Arsenal fans have a more famous leader among their terraces: a man who brought more terror to the world than a ship of British boats laden with Earl Grey tea, Rich Tea biscuits, and a cargo full of bloody bayonets to stick it right up Johnny Foreigner’s foreign parts. Arsenal’s most famous fan is a deceased terrorist mastermind, Al-Qaeda leader, and professional recluse Osama Bin Laden.

As the Gooner chant goes:

“Osama, woah-woah

Osama, woah-woah

He’s hiding in Kabul

He loves the Arsenal“

(Source: fan chant)

This isn’t accurate – he was hiding in Abbottabad in Pakistan, which is not even the same country as the Afghan capital. If only Prince William (see Aston Villa) was a fan of Arsenal, he could have used his geography degree to point them in the right direction.

There are no chants about the Queen. If she is peeved at only being the second most famous Arsenal fan, she doesn’t mind. Even the Queen concedes there’s only room for two royal figures at Arsenal, and neither of them has the surname, Windsor.

There are two Kings at Arsenal. First, the team enters the Emirates Stadium to Elvis Presley’s ‘The Wonder of You,’ adopted as the club’s anthem in 2007. But, like the Emirates, the song has never caught on with fans has in recent years been replaced by ‘Lux Aeterna,’ a track from the soundtrack to the film Requiem for a Dream.

The second King, however, will never be forgotten. He is the King of Kings, Arsenal’s greatest player, Thierry Henry.

Thierry Henry is a former captain, a multiple winner of PFA and FWA Player of The Year, Arsenal’s all-time leading scorer (228 goals in all competitions), and winner of two league titles and three FA Cups. When Henry left to join Barcelona in 2007, we imagine that even Her Majesty bowed down to this King. All hail King Henry.

Buy the Sound of Football from Amazon.

Every fortnight we cover the best and worst football songs from every club in the UK from our book ‘The Sound Of Football: Every Club, Every Song’. You can buy it here

Arbroath

Nickname: The Red Lichties

Ground: Gayfield Park

Stadium Capacity: 5,940

Song: Tom Hark by The Piranhas

Arbroath was the home of Scottish singer and entertainer Andy Stewart, who lived and died in Arbroath. In 1961, Andy had a hit worldwide with his song ‘Donald Where’s Your Troosers?’ about a Scotsman wearing a kilt. If he’d been singing it in Arbroath, he’d have sung ‘Donald Where’s Your Longjohns?’ The Red Lichties play matches at Gayfield Park, next to the sea. As a result, it’s exposed to the shifting, strong and bitterly cold North Sea winds. This creates problems for visiting teams as the ball can get caught in the strong wind, confusing attacking players and goalies coming for crosses.

Like Grimsby Town, the fans like to sing ‘We Only Sing When We’re Fishing’:

“We only sing when we’re fishing!

We only sing when we’re fiiiiiiiishing!

We only sing when we’re fishing!

sing when we’re fishing!“

(Source: terrace chant)

And, whenever a goal is scored at Gayfield, the stadium tannoy plays ‘Tom Hark’ by The Piranhas.

The song was initially recorded in 1953 by Elias And His Zig Zag Jive Flutes and is based on “Kwela,” the traditional South African folk music (see Burnley for another origin tale).

The Piranhas’ saxophonist Phil Collis discovered the song in his mum’s record collection and persuaded the band to do a version. Phil wrote the lyrics as the group travelled in the back of a van from their hometown of Brighton to a recording studio in London.

“The original was an instrumental, so we brought it up to date with some lyrics,” says Phil. “I could say the words were deep and meaningful, but they don’t mean much. I scribbled them on an envelope in about an hour.“

The song itself is 2 minutes 45 seconds long. If the club had played it to celebrate every goal in 1855, it would have been played for 85 minutes during Arbroath’s most famous victory. A victory that took place the same day as another famous match.

On Saturday, 12 September 1885, Dundee Harp played Aberdeen Rovers in the first round of the Scottish Cup. The result made football history as Harp beat its Aberdeen rivals 35 – 0. But, what was thought to be the biggest ever victory, only lasted a few short hours.

Dundee Harp had an Irish player, Tom O’Kane, who lived in Arbroath. After the game, he sent a telegram home to wind up his friends and boast of his achievement. But, unknown to Tom, that very afternoon, Arbroath had gone one better. The rampant home team handed out a 36-0 thrashing to Bon Accord.

To make matters worse, Dundee Harp had scored more than 35 goals. The referee had noted at least 37, but as he was unsure of the exact total, he discussed it with O’Kane, and they agreed that the ref would tell the football league that the score was 35 – 0. Not knowing the tally was so important, O’Kane was happy to take the lower figure until he heard back from Arbroath.

At first, he thought their response was a joke, that Arbroath couldn’t possibly have scored one more goal at the same time as Dundee Harp was creating a new record. However, when Tom arrived back in Arbroath, he realised the truth – Arbroath had set a new record for the highest winning margin in football, a record that still stands to this day.

Even if Harp’s original 37 – 0 scoreline had been allowed to stand, there is evidence to suggest that Arbroath may still have beaten it. Many years later, the referee of the Bon Accord game, Dave Stormont, admitted in a newspaper article that he’d disallowed seven legitimate Arbroath goals, and the score should have been 43-0.

If it’s any consolation to Tom, the Dundee Harp game still officially holds the record for the game with the second-highest winning margin. And if they’d play Tom Hark, fans would have heard it for 82 minutes.

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