While clearing the attic I found a box of homemade DVDs left by the previous owner, one of which was marked in red ink: ‘Max’s Stag’.

I’d watch ‘Max’s Stag’ if it wasn’t the case that finding old home movies in the attic is the exact plot of Sinister and, tonight, after watching it, I’ll be dragged to hell by the demon Baghuul.

Who records a stag and then burns a DVD for everyone? What kind of stag do was it?

Steve: “I brought the handcuffs.”

Michael: “I brought the blow up doll.”

Max – “Lol, very good guys, you’re just trying to make me nervous.”

Bob – “Just wait to see who we hired for the pub crawl! It’s a surprise but if you’ve ever seen the Wizard of Oz then you’ll know who we’ve got…. we got a midget dressed as a munchkin!”

Max – “You guys are the best! Now, Jamie, what did you bring?”

Jamie – “Well, I thought I’d bring my camcorder so we could record the whole event and maybe we could sit down one weekend with a cup of tea and a chocolate Club biscuit to watch it again.”

Everyone – “Yay!”

Part of me wonders if the previous owner is desperate to find this DVD. Maybe they’d left it in the attic because it was never meant to be found? Maybe they’d wanted to take it away with them because what happened on Max’s stag was meant to stay on Max’s stag, including the location of the shallow grave they dug to bury the hooker. Maybe the previous owner woke up in a cold sweat a few months after moving and thought: “FFS, did I leave the evidence in the attic!”

Or maybe that’s what Baghuul wants us to think to tempt us to watch the DVD? Maybe this is just an elaborate set up to unleash Satan? If so, perhaps it’s better to just smash it with a hammer and not bring about the apocalypse.

Also I don’t have a DVD player so there is that too.

I might as well be trying to watch Betamax than try and watch a DVD. Instead, if I want to watch an old video I need to turn to YouTube. Which, as far as I know, will not summon Beelzebub.

However, finding the DVD reminded me that I last watched a DVD 10 years ago when I uploaded a video to YouTube so that I wouldn’t lose it if something happened to the DVD itself. I wasn’t on Max’s Stag though, I was jumping from Bloukarans Bridge in South Africa. Luckily I had a bungee cord wrapped around me as otherwise I wouldn’t be able to tell you my tale next week when I share the story of what happened when I tried to jump off the highest bridge bungee in the world.

To be continued….