As a challenge I’m going to run, bike or swim every day in January.
Day Three
If it’s not on Strava, it didn’t happen. So, when I forgot my watch I had to make very sure of the number of laps I was swimming so I could update Strava when I finished. The tricky bit is that the pool I was swimming in was 21 metres and not 25m, which makes it trickier to work out laps when every five laps is 104m and not 100m.
Top tip for the rest of the month – remember watch. Or get better at maths.
How was it? An almost empty pool with only one other person swimming. An otherwise easy and relaxing swim.
As a challenge I’m going to run, bike or swim every day in January.
Day Two
D’oh! I realised today that this isn’t day two, it’s actually day seven as I’d also ran, cycled or swam the last five days of December too. If you’re thinking of starting a challenge then don’t do what I’ve done and start it without thinking of having a break first. I bet Edmund Hillary wasn’t halfway up K2 when he decided to tackle Everest the next day.
How was it? The hardest part of cycling in January is the weather. Most days feels like part of a musical: miserable. But, when you get a good day, it’s great to get out even if it’s just in the city. No heavy legs today but I was more ambling and rambling than racing around.
As a challenge I’m going to run, bike or swim every day in January. I’ve tried Marcothon, the December challenge to run 5k each day, but quickly decided my legs were not up for running daily. So, instead, I’m going to multi-sport it and challenge myself to spend run, cycle or swim each day this month.
I tried to think of a cool name for the challenge. Tri-anuary? But that would just link it to a specific month rather than something which can be done anytime. So, instead I’ve called it the 31 day challenge, which means it can be completed anytime except obviously February, April, June, September and November. Maybe I should have just called it the one month challenge to be more inclusive?
Day One
How was it? Tired heavy legs after a large meal last night. Really didn’t want to run but went out because it was warm, sunny and remarkably un-January like.
When you’re inside do you really want to be reminded about it? For me, the best programme of the year was ‘Long Way Up’ on Apple TV. A nostalgic revival of Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman’s previous trips around the work but this time a challenge to cycle from the tip of South America to Los Angeles. To watch it now was to be reminded not just of their previous trips but also what it was like to just travel for the sake of travelling, something we can’t do anymore without re-creating the opening of Stephen King’s ‘The Stand’.
But if you had to be reminded about the pandemic then the three best programme were Bo Burnhan’s ‘Inside’, an epic musical, nervous breakdown, or possible piss-take, set inside a single room. The not at all pandemic related ‘The Terror’ about two boats trapped in the ice as something that may or may not be supernatural stalks the ice. But while ‘The Terror’ may not be directly about the pandemic it did show what happens if you’re stuck indoors for two years. And BBC3’s ‘Pls Like’, which saw series 3 struggle to film a mock documentary in the middle of lockdown while pretending to be serious while also being deeply silly.
Honourable mentions:
Continuing the nostalgia theme: the so far excellent return of serial killer Dexter Morgan in Dexter: New Blood and season 2 of ‘Justified’. For new stuff I watched Loki and Wandavision (but not Falcon & The Winter Soldier); and the obvious candidates of Succession, Mare of Eastown and Ted Lasso.
The best film of the year is an easy one: Dune. After 18 months of watching films at home, there was no better experience than going back to a cinema and watching a film that required the biggest screen and the loudest speakers. The only experience like it was when I went two months without eating any chocolate before running the Edinburgh marathon and then scoffed an entire chocolate muffin on the finish line. I’ve never had heroin but Im pretty sure it doesn’t destroy your mind, body and soul like your first taste of a muffin after two months of abstinence and 26 miles of running.
Dune was a bit like that. The fact it is also a great (though flawed) film was just a bonus. I just wanted to be back in the cinema again.
My highest recommendation for Dune though is that I really wanted to know more about how it was made and managed to find some cracking behind the scenes videos to find out more. Check out:
Honourable mentions
A film I wish I had seen at the cinema was my most surprising film of 2021: Amazon Prime exclusive ‘The Aeronaughts’. A film I dismissed when watching the trailer but couldn’t have been more wrong as it turned out to be vertigo inducing and thrilling as Gravity but in a balloon.
With more films being released to streaming rather than the cinema there was also some other gems in ‘Love & Monsters’ , ‘Don’t Tell Anyone’, ‘Stowaway’, ‘Fear Street’, ‘We Care A Lot’, ‘Prospect’, ‘The Green Knight’ and ‘The Dig’.
But nothing compares to actually going to the Cinema and I only hope that 2022 will see more opportunities to go back and that I won’t have to wait until Dune 2 is out in 2023 before returning.
Every fortnight we cover the best and worst football songs from every club in the UK from our book ‘The Sound Of Football: Every Club, Every Song’. You can buy it here
Aston Villa
Nickname: The Claret & Blue
Stadium: Villa Park
Stadium Capacity: 42,788
Song: The Bells Are Ringing
Maybe it’s an Eton thing? Both former prime minister David Cameron, and Prince William, ex-Etonians, are fans of Aston Villa.
David Cameron’s the nephew of former Villa chairman Sir William Dugdale. Sir William took the former prime minister to his first ever game when Cameron was a 13-year-old pupil at Eton. The prime minister has (mostly) supported the club ever since*.
The reason why Prince William supports Aston Villa is harder to find. The Prince has never publicly revealed why he supports Villa – though there’s an urban myth that Prince William said he supported Aston Villa because it was in the country’s middle.
We have another theory. It’s a simple one. Aston Villa won the European Cup in May 1982. Prince William was born in June 1982. Coincidence? Quite possibly, but, maybe, just maybe, our future King is a fan of the Claret & Blue because when he was born, he wanted to support the best team in Europe – and, at that time, the best team in Europe was Aston Villa.
Success, however, is fleeting.
For the first part of the decade, Aston Villa has flattered to deceive. Despite promising managers like Martin O’Neill and Paul Lambert; a youth set up that has produced players like Gabriel Agbonlahor, Gareth Barry, and Gary Cahill; and a chairman who could have taught ‘The Joy of Sex’ (his name is Randy Lerner), the team hasn’t delivered on its potential.
It all seemed so different at the European Cup Final in Amsterdam in 1982. Despite two goals disallowed, Aston Villa beat Bayern Munich 1 – 0. It should have sparked a glorious run, but the team lost the cup just a few days later while out drinking in a local pub. An opportunistic thief nabbed it when he spotted the team in The Fox Inn in Hopwas, near Tamworth.
The cup wasn’t lost for long. A couple of hours later, the trophy was anonymously handed into West Midlands police, who did the right thing but not before holding a five-a-side tournament. Of course, the winning team claimed bragging rights and a photo with the trophy. It was only after they’d finished celebrating that the West Midland police phoned the club to tell it the cup had been found.
As success is fleeting, Aston Villa has had a unique approach to its walk on music. Before home games, fans could vote for the song the team will come out to.
Favourite songs have included Black Sabbath’s ‘Paranoid’ and ‘Welcome To The Jungle’ by Guns N Roses. Other songs featuring prominently in the poll are ‘We Will Rock You’ by Queen, Fatboy Slim’s ‘Right Here Right Now,’ ‘Hi Ho Silver Lining’ by Jeff Beck, ‘Thunderstruck’ by AC/DC, U2’s ‘Beautiful Day’ and ‘Song 2’ by Blur. All great songs, but not original songs for the club. For that, we need to turn to ‘The Bells Are Ringing.’
The Bells Are Ringing refers to the bells of Aston Parish Church, which is situated on Witton Lane, only yards from Villa Park. It was a common tradition for the church to ring the bells before every game on home soil. And the song commemorates this strong tradition.
In 2011, the club was brought back by the club as a fan anthem. There was only one problem. The song repeatedly calls Villa the best team in the land. Which even die-hard fans like David Cameron and Prince William know is no longer valid. But, just as success is fleeting, so is a failure, and the glory days may yet return to Villa Park. Or, if not Villa Park, perhaps West Midland Police – if an enterprising fan spots another team celebrating the European Cup triumph down their local boozer and decides to make off with the trophy.
*Though David Cameron is not their biggest fan. He was famously slipped up in 2015 when he urged an audience to support his team, West Ham, when he meant Aston Villa. Although to be fair, many Aston Villa fans that year, watching relegation battles before eventual demotion to the Championship, would have loved to forget they supported the club too.
A break from sporting videos this week to look back at some of my favourite videos/channels. This year I probably watched more YouTube than anything else. I have an infant daughter and she’s not yet old enough to work a microwave or to order a takeaway on JustEat. Instead, she expects us to feed her every few hours and, even more, she expects us to wipe her bum too. Babies really are lazy… 🙂
As part of feeding her though I’ve been watching YouTube channels on cinematography, photography and film editing. There’s some great channels explaining exactly what to do with a three light set up; or how a single light bulb is all you need to make a horror film. I admit it is niche but, hey, this is our fifth year of writing a weekly blog about triathlons so we’re quite capable of being niche on this site.
If you want to know more then these are some good videos to start:
And if playing around around with light and lenses is not your thing and you just want an easy watch then the funniest video each week is Corrections from the Late Night with Seth Myer channel. A web exclusive where each week he corrects all the mistakes his viewers point out that he’s made that week.
The problem with returning to the office after working from home for 18 months is forgetting that your Spotify account has an “explicit content” button. After 18 months of listening to whatever I wanted at home I would switch on the Office Alexa and listen to whatever I want at the office too. Most times it’s a playlist, something I think everyone will like with words like “upbeat”, “classics” or “big hits” in the title. Something where it’s more than likely, at some point in the day, you’ll hear “Mr Brownside” by the Killers unless…. you forget to switch off “explicit content… and halfway though a discussion with accounts about employee share options you hear Jarvis Cocker’s “C***s are Ruling The World.”
So, for this year’s best song I offer a warning. This is not for the office. Nor are any of her other songs. But, for sheer explicit what if Pornhub had a soundtrack album, then check out Ayesha Erotica. This is one of her tamer trackers.
Honourable mention: Syko’s ‘#BrooklynBloodPop!’
If you prefer something lighter and more family friendly like, I don’t know, death. Then this year was a great year for albums that it’s really better not knowing how they came about before listening to them. First up, and my second best album of the year, is For Those I Love’s ‘For Those I Love’, an album created in grief about grief and as far from Ayesha Erotica as the idea of the Queen singing “WAP”.
Honourable mention: The Anchoress’s ‘The Art of Losing’
After those albums you may want something less fraught and filled with despair and you can always count on Country to deliver a sheer OTT bonkers happy song that doesn’t do anything other than say “ain’t it great to get… DRUNK ON A PLANE”.
But for best song and best album of the year there was only one choice. And no, not Sufjan Stevens like every other, even though I do recommend ‘A Beginner’s Mind’, it’s Sam Fender’s ‘Seventeen Going Under’, an album that almost rivals Ayesha Erotica for it’s use of sax.
Honourable mentions: Self Esteem’s ‘Prioritise Pleasure’, Bicep ‘Isles’, Dennison Winter ‘American Foursquare’, The KLF, ‘Solid State Logik’, Low ‘HEY WHAT’, the Dune soundtrack, the original cast album of Urinetown and JARV IS ‘Beyond The Pale’
Every fortnight we cover the best and worst football songs from every club in the UK from our book ‘The Sound Of Football: Every Club, Every Song’. You can buy it here
Arsenal
Nickname: The Gunners
Stadium: Emirates Stadium
Stadium Capacity: 60,361
Song: Good Old Arsenal
She doesn’t strike you as a Gooner. Her majesty. Queen Elizabeth II. But when ‘Gooner’ is derived from ‘Gunner’ and was bestowed on Arsenal’s original fans because they worked at a weapons factory in Woolwich, it all makes sense. So who has the biggest cannons in the world? Take a guess. And it’s not Pornhub. Nor is it the Pope. He has canons. Instead, yes, you guessed it; it’s Queen Elizabeth II, commander in chief of the armed forces and ruler of the British Empire.
It’s no surprise Her Majesty supports a team that was once a significant force but whose fortunes have been on the slide. A team that was the first to be broadcast on radio; the first to be broadcast on television; and the first to be blocked by everyone in the world after Piers Morgan banged on about them every minute of every hour of every day on Twitter. And a team who seems to think that first is what you get if you eat too much salt. Let’s just say, if Arsenal were the monarch, we’d politely say, “you’re looking well, your majesty”, and not ask how many countries she’s conquered lately.
The Queen is not the only member of the Royal Family to support Arsenal. Prince Harry is also a fan of the Gunners. We can only guess why someone who is fourth in line for the throne and moves further away with each year would be attracted to Arsenal.
Arsenal, unlike Queen Elizabeth, has a notable first (she, of course, is the second of her name). In 1971, Arsenal released a single to celebrate reaching the FA Cup final. The song was the indirect result of a competition to find a song for Arsenal which could rival Liverpool’s ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone. However, unlike that song (which we talk about later), Arsenal wanted an original song and not one borrowed from the charts. Instead, a TV competition organised by ITV tried to find a worthy song. However, none of the entries were considered right, and football pundit Jimmy Hill (who will pop up again for his musical legacy for Coventry City) asked the then Arsenal manager, Bertie Mee, for permission to write a song for the club instead. Bertie said yes, and Jimmy wrote “Good Old Arsenal” to the tune of “Rule, Britannia.” This became the first record released to be performed by a football team’s squad to commemorate the club reaching the FA Cup final.
The Queen and Prince Harry are not the only famous fans of Arsenal. If you ask the average Gooner to name a famous fan, the Queen would not be their first choice. Arsenal fans have a more famous leader among their terraces: a man who brought more terror to the world than a ship of British boats laden with Earl Grey tea, Rich Tea biscuits, and a cargo full of bloody bayonets to stick it right up Johnny Foreigner’s foreign parts. Arsenal’s most famous fan is a deceased terrorist mastermind, Al-Qaeda leader, and professional recluse Osama Bin Laden.
As the Gooner chant goes:
“Osama, woah-woah
Osama, woah-woah
He’s hiding in Kabul
He loves the Arsenal“
(Source: fan chant)
This isn’t accurate – he was hiding in Abbottabad in Pakistan, which is not even the same country as the Afghan capital. If only Prince William (see Aston Villa) was a fan of Arsenal, he could have used his geography degree to point them in the right direction.
There are no chants about the Queen. If she is peeved at only being the second most famous Arsenal fan, she doesn’t mind. Even the Queen concedes there’s only room for two royal figures at Arsenal, and neither of them has the surname, Windsor.
There are two Kings at Arsenal. First, the team enters the Emirates Stadium to Elvis Presley’s ‘The Wonder of You,’ adopted as the club’s anthem in 2007. But, like the Emirates, the song has never caught on with fans has in recent years been replaced by ‘Lux Aeterna,’ a track from the soundtrack to the film Requiem for a Dream.
The second King, however, will never be forgotten. He is the King of Kings, Arsenal’s greatest player, Thierry Henry.
Thierry Henry is a former captain, a multiple winner of PFA and FWA Player of The Year, Arsenal’s all-time leading scorer (228 goals in all competitions), and winner of two league titles and three FA Cups. When Henry left to join Barcelona in 2007, we imagine that even Her Majesty bowed down to this King. All hail King Henry.
We started a book club at work. The first book was ‘The Book Club’, a book about a book club targeted by a murderer. I wasn’t sure if I was joining a like minded group of literary enthusiasts or getting a big hint about what someone really thought about us.
The Book Club was crap, the murderer’s motive was to get revenge after they had to walk up stairs while their intended victim had stopped the lift for rumpy puppy with an office affair. All I could think about was office layout. How many floors do you need to have in your office to have a single lift which would still make sense to walk the stairs and not just wait for it to be fixed? Twenty floor would be too many floors to walk. But would 10? What about five? But would you stop a lift for five floors to get frisky? The rest of the book didn’t make sense but when the foundations of your story rely on modern office design, I’m not sure you have a great story to begin with.
Maybe it should have just embraced the illogicalities of it all. Just like my book of the year ‘The KLF: Chaos, Magic and the Band who Burned a Million Pounds’ by John Higgs. A book that confirms that when the band, the KLF, burned one million pounds in the early 1990s, it was the culmination of a series of event linking the anti-christ Alastair Crowley, the illuminati and the quest to write the best pop song ever written. Or it might just because they were dicks who didn’t know what they were doing. And the difference between these stories makes a fascinating read, whether you know anything about the KLF or not.
Honourable mentions: Did I mention we have a book out? ‘DNF: Did Not Finish’? I think we might have mentioned it at least once…
The problem with releasing a book, and this year we also had ‘The Sound of Football’, is that it doesn’t give much time to read anything else as I must have read both of these at least twenty times, and some parts even more. So, the fact I’m still recommending them must say something about good they are? 🙂
And if you’re looking for non-TwinBikeRun reccomendations then I’d point you in the direction of Robert Galbraith’s ‘Troubled Blood’ for a novel by a woman who pretends to be a man but is hated because she has strong views about men who want to be woman, Louis Sachar’s ‘Holes’ for the chapter about the onions and Peter Bill’s ‘Planet Property’ if you want to read a good book about property.
Twin brothers swimming, cycling and running in Scotland 