October

During lockdown my employer gave every staff member Friday off, which meant I only worked 80% of my normal week i.e. Monday to Thursday instead of Monday to Friday.

I found working from home is less productive. I estimate I lose 20% of my time because I can not do tasks as quickly as when I was in the office. Which meant I only worked 60% of the week.

I had on average two days worth of video calls/meetings a week. I can’t get on with work whilst doing them. I lose another 40% of the week. Which means I only worked 20% of the week.

I need to keep my facebook/twitter/instagram up to date, I need to check the BBC/The Guardian for news, and I need to stare out of my window to watch the world go by. Which takes 20% of my time. Which means I only work 0% of the week.

Where do I apply for my Employee of The Year prize ?

The Met office announced the storm names for next year. Fame at last – I’m going to be a storm. I was once a hurricane. Wikipedia says Hurricane Iain had a promising start but didn’t amount to anything! Which is also what my school report said.

During a work call I met a man whose job title is “Customer Success Manager” That is a great title. He must be confident in his ability. It inspired me to change my job title. I’m now Corporate “Please God don’t let any system break today” Manager.

The highlight of October was when a Tesco delivery driver said to me “We’ve made a change to your order”

The short gap between him saying it and then handing me the item changed is a moment in time where my mind drifts to a world of excitement and possibility. What has changed? Will it be better than what I ordered? OMG – THIS IS SO EXCITING!

And then he handed me a multipack of Quaver crisps instead of what I ordered – Monster Munch!

Who does that? Who shatters hopes and dreams so cruelly like that? I WANTED FLAMIN HOT FLAVOR MONSTER MUNCH!!!! TESCO – YOU LOST A CUSTOMER THAT DAY!!

November

I have to do a first aid course. The course is not what I expected – “What would be your top 10 communicable diseases?” Its so hard to pick a favorite! I love ebola but covid is so hot right now…decisions…decisions…which to put as number 1?

Hotel rooms normally have a bible in a bedside drawer. I like what Cromlix Hotel have done instead. Their drawer has a book about a Scottish God – Sir Alex Ferguson.

There is very little else to report this month. I have to work on a project that eats up all my work and leisure time. Thankfully the weather was appalling so I don’t feel I’ve missed out on anything. At the end of the month the sun comes out for one day.

December

I watch a Scottish Government Christmas announcement via the medium of the sign language interpreter. As far as I can tell – first we are going to talk to the virus but it will be a heated discussion that will lead to a fight and then we will all end up zombies.