The British ruled India for 200 years. The British love queuing so, unsurprisingly, do Indians. Queues started before I even arrived in the country. As the plane descended, just before it touched down, one man got up and got his luggage from the overhead locker.

He wanted to be first off the plane and first into the immigration queue.

I thought how slow can the queue be that you’d risk life and limb to avoid it.

I had an electronic visa which theoretically meant I should get through the queue quickly. Or at least that’s what I thought.

One of of the questions on the form asked me “Are you a tourist? Have you committed a war crime? Are you a criminal?”

I’m no sure how useful these questions are. Surely, if I can answer “yes” to any of those options, I’d also answer yes to “do you lie on forms to get into countries?”

The immigration queue has special needs line for for the elderly/disabled. This is a great idea except the immigration desk is set on a platform. To reach it they have to walk up two steps. Something which is particularly difficult for elderly and disabled people.

That is India in a nutshell. Logical and illogical combined.

It took over an hour to clear immigration despite there only being a handful of passengers but loads of immigration officers. The luggage hadn’t arrived so I joined the luggage queue. I was starting to see why the man on the plane got up early.

Nic’s luggage arrived quickly. “Result. Mine must be out soon too,” I thought. I was wrong. 30 minutes passed and my luggage still hadn’t arrived. Then the luggage conveyor belt stopped. I took this as a hint that my luggage might not have made it…

Thankfully after complaining to an airline employee my luggage was found. They must have turned the plane upside down and shook it to see if any luggage fell out.

That wasn’t the last of the queuing. We then had to wait in a very long queue for a prepaid taxi. By the time we left the airport we’d spent more time here than the time it took to fly from Dubai to Kolkata

Welcome to India…. join the queue.