TwinBikeRun cover photo montage of Andrew and Iain Todd

TwinBikeRun

Andrew and Iain Todd write about endurance sport, football and the everyday absurdity of being Scottish. Twin brothers, occasional triathletes, and authors of six books between them.

Cover of Norseman: Two Brothers, Forty Years of Failure and the World's Toughest Triathlon
Cover of The Celtman Diary: Six Months to Prepare for the UK's Toughest Triathlon
Cover of The Sound of Football: Every Club, Every Song

  • Running on Holiday (Andrew)

    “Do you know the way to Detective Jimmy Perez’s house?” asked the two Norwegian tourists.

    Not only did I know the way, I knew exactly what she was talking about. Detective Jimmy Perez is the lead character of the novels and TV show, ‘Shetland’. And he lived in the Lodberie House, an old Victorian home on the edge of Lerwick’s harbour.

    “It’s 20 metres further along,” I said, “look to your right and you can’t miss it.”

    I’m not sure why I was asked though. Did they think I was local and would know? Or did they think I looked like a fan of the show? 

    “That man looks like he enjoys a good murder, let’s ask him!”

    Instead, and lucky for them, five minutes earlier I had stood outside the house, and I had googled “what is the Lodberie House?” and had found out all about it. Now, five minutes later, I was Google.

    Part of running, for me, is exploring. When on holiday, I love to run the streets around me to get my bearings, ticking each street off like Pacman in his maze, though without the pills. Or the ghosts. 

    I was always so keen. For years I would take my trainers with me on holiday. I would have this idea that I would go for a run when I’m away. That it’ll be a chance to explore a new city or town and get a fresh perspective of where I am. Yet, every time I come home, I find my trainers have reminded firmly in a well wrapped bag.

    (The bag has to be well wrapped as trainers, well, there’s no,other way to say this, STINK. And the very last thing you want to do is place your trainers tightly in with all your fresh holiday clothes in a closed bag because soon everything will smell of your feet. Eeugh.)

    A few years ago, just before lockdown, I decided that there was no point planning a holiday run. I was going to be away for two weeks, I had to bring hiking boots and taking a pair of trainers too and it felt like I’d be using too much space for footwear I would only use for a few hours, if that.

    And, if I didn’t take my trainers, I wouldn’t feel guilty about not going for a run. You can’t feel guilty if you can’t do something. Just like I don’t feel guilty about not going to the moon, painting a stunning landscape or eating beatroot (it’s purple – only bruises and dinosaurs are purple).

    But, when I started to pack I realised I would have space for trainers if I wore my hiking boots onto the plane. If I didn’t pack them, but wore them instead, I’d free up both space and weight. And then I thought, why not take my trainers but instead of thinking I should go for a run I would only aim to cover a mile instead: The Holiday Mile. A simple goal, less than 10 minutes and it would meet my goal of seeing more than just a hotel in wherever we stayed but would also be short enough that it didn’t feel like an imposition during the holiday. It would be over and done before breakfast.

    And, as it turned out, if I went out for that first mile, I would also carry on if I was enjoying it.

    Perfect.

    Until I got there. ‘There’ being Dubai and I tried my holiday mile at the end of September when the temperature was 42 degrees and it was horrible. It wasn’t running, it was cooking. And I was the main course.

    But I did it. And I kept doing it and gradually my runs became longer until I now enjoy running while on holiday. 

  • Alloa half marathon

  • Celtman Solo Point Five (Andrew)

    12 weeks to Celtman.

    Well, 11.

    Sorry, 10.

    There are 10 weeks to Celtman Solo Point Five and I have just spent the last month being ill after TwinBikeChild joined a nursery and decided to bring home every bug and illness with her.

    But 10 weeks is okay to prepare for a triathlon. Most programmes are for 12 weeks and the first week is more of an intro and the last week is tapering. So, most programmes only have 10 ‘proper’ weeks of training.

    At least that’s what I’m telling myself…

  • I ran the Alloa half marathon

  • Not The Alloa Half Marathon 2025 (Andrew)

    Nurseries should hand out Hazmat suits when children start. 

    TwinBikeChild started nursery a month ago and I’ve been ill ever since. After twice getting a throat infection in three weeks I’ve lost more weight than a Circus strongman with amnesia. TwinBikeChild, on the other hand, just gets a runny nose every time she picks up a new bug. Children have a defence system so strong even Donald Trump wouldn’t leak it. 

    As I’m ill I’ve had to miss a couple of races with the Alloa Half Marathon being the main casualty, which was a pity as it gave me no chance to find out if they’d doubled their toilet count for the 5,000 starters by bringing a second toilet to the start. See last year’s report. Hopefully, next year, they’ll have doubled it again and have four portaloos.

    While I missed the race I did end up in Alloa for a children’s party which only made me wish I’d raced instead as the after-party entertainment was a mobile zoo. 

    “A mobile zoo,” you say, “that sounds delightful!”

    And it does. Who wouldn’t get excited about the inevitable  cuteness overload of a dozen or so four year olds being shown age appropriate animals like puppy dogs, rabbits or little pet lambs? 

    “Why would you rather have ran 13 miles with a razor blade in your throat and a cough with more hacks than a 80s slasher horror film?” You might ask me.

    “Because,” I’d say, “the first animal was a cockroach.”

    AAAAAARGGHHHH!! 

    “And”, I’d say, “the second animal was a box of meal worms.”

    It wasn’s a mobile zoo, it was pest extermination.

    EEEEEKKKKKK!!!

    A collection of scaly scary creepy crawlies which only ended when the ‘zookeeper’ brought out a mouse and then a bright yellow snake. And all I could hope was that it not an extermination it’s just all been lunch for the snake

    TwinBikeChild, of course, loved it.

  • Ultra-trail Snowdonia by UTMB 2024

  • Indoor Swim Review: Lewis Sports Centre (Andrew)

    When is a 25m pool not a 25m pool? When it has a wall which rises from the floor and reduce the pool to 15m.

    While many swimming pools will have group classes throughout the day, the Lewis Sports Centre in Stornoway is the only one I know that has a wall rise from the floor to split the pool into two while the class take place. You can be swimming only for an attendant to warn you that the a class is about to start and the pool will be reduced.

    You can check the class timetables in advance but I’ve never quite worked out which classes trigger the wall and which don’t. Perhaps, the Isle of Lewis’s most famous descendent can answer: Donald J Trump, whose mother was born just outside Stornoway.

    Cost: £4.80 as a non-member.

    Facilities: Decent size cubicles and nice and clean changing area. However the showers are right beside the pool and open to everyone so not suitable for a proper wash, only a rinse.

    Swimming pool: The lap lane is wider to allow more swimmers but it operates an anti-clockwise swimming lap where you don’t swim back and forth but more in a circle as you swim a few metres to the left or right at the end of each lap.

    Other facilities? You can pay extra for the sauna, steam room and jacuzzi.

    Busy? At the times you would expect and quiet when not.

    Recommended? Yes.

  • What to see in India

  • Dragon’s Den 2025 (Andrew)

    This month we undressed our four-year-old daughter for bed and she had a thousand red pin prick spots on her chest and back. That’s when we started to Google “meningitis” and found the ‘glass test’.

    The ’glass test’ is a test as to whether the spots fade when pressed. If they fade, they’re unlikely to be meningitis. If they don’t fade, it could be. To check, you use a glass as how else would you see if the spots fade when pressed? You can’t see through a stainless-steel spoon, or a wooden spatula pressed down. You need glass to see the skin when you press. 

    We started with a round drinking glass, but it didn’t work as it only pressed down on the curve and didn’t cover much of the skin. 

    “We need something flatter,” I suggested as we rolled the glass over our daughter’s back, and we couldn’t tell if the spots faded or not. “We need to press down on a larger area”.

    “How about a microwave dish?” suggested TwinBikeWife before she brought a large clear flat overproof dish. 

    “Ideal for the glass test and a pasta bake,” I say.

    “Not until after it’s washed,” said TwinBikeWife. 

    We pressed down with the dish and the spots appeared to fade. TwinBikeChild wriggled and kicked. The glass was cold on her skin, and no one wants to have a cold medical test and be prepped for an oven. 

    “We should phone NHS 24,” said TwinBikeWife, which was a good idea. I’d tried watching YouTube videos about the glass test and they were very unclear as to what a successful test looked like. They showed unsuccessful tests. The glass being pressed down and the spots still clearly visible – and TwinBikeChild was nothing like those, but we’re not sure what success looks like. Maybe, instead of releasing videos to show what can go wrong, there could be videos of what can go right? A glass pressed down and the spots fading away? That would be handy. 

    While TwinBikeChild didn’t have meningitis – and recovered the next day –  I do think there is a gap in the market for YouTube videos showing people who are not injured or ill. 

    “Have you lost a leg in a car accident? Here’s a video of someone who hasn’t lost a leg. They’re doing the hopscotch. Can you do the hopscotch? If so, congratulations, you have not been auto amputated!”

    “Do you have a cold? Can you breath out through your nose without producing a giant bodgey? Watch this! Sniff! See, no bogey! Lovely clear nasal passages! You don’t have a cold!”

    To be honest, it could just be a video of one person saying “I don’t have scurvy” or “Brain parasites, not me!” or “Chicken pox, not with these flawless features!”, which I will do until I I’ve ticked off every in Dorland’s Pocket Medical Dictionary.

    And if I do it everyday it won’t be long for the YouTube algorithm to reward my regular updates by making me the new Mr Beast, but without the accusations of exploiting children’s love of fizzy juice and sweets with substandard drinks and snacks. I will only offer responsible merchandise like see through glass casserole bowls/meningitis tests.

    I think I may have found my Dragon’s Den idea…

  • Running up Ben Ledi