Apparently you could have received a fine if you rode the UCI World Championship Course in Glasgow in August.

I say ‘apparently’ because I read it on a Facebook post and I can’t find any evidence that it is true. Much like most Facebook posts.

However, as I also read that Nicola Sturgeon definitely kept all the SNP’s stolen money in a bag marked “Swag” in the back of her motorhome, I shouldn’t take any chances. It may be true so…

I definitely didn’t ride the UCI World Championship Course in Glasgow in the morning before the woman’s world championship race. However, if I had, I imagine, and I stress for any policemen reading, this is imaginary, it would have probably involved something like this…

First, the course received some notoriety before the championships began as it had 42 corners and would require the male riders to turn almost 500 times during their 12 laps of the course.

I can confirm there were a hell of a lot of corners on the course. And, in face, there were more than 42. And, not only that, there were also two u-turns. But that might just have been because I took a wrong turn and ended up cycling the wrong way along the course.

I blame the Marshalls because the first time I went round the course, they didn’t shout out at all. The second time they did and that helped me know which way to go.

Unfortunately they also shouted “The course is live, get off the course!” but at least I knew I was going in the right direction.

The longest climb on the course is Montrose Street, beside Strathclyde University. However, it’s not the hardest climb on the course. That would be Scott Street in Garnethill, which is shorter but is much steeper. Neither thought is particularly challenging, at least not at the pace I was going. I imagine it’s harder when you’re trying to win a World Championship and you’re trying to go as fast as you can.

It was great to see the course and to ride through the city without traffic lights or traffic to worry about. There were also no potholes as the council had filled them all in the week before.

If you check Strava you’ll know find that every Strava segment in the course has been claimed by a professional cyclist so if you’re looking for records then you’ll need to do what I saw one man do: fastest up Montrose Street on a Brompton bile. I’d love to see MVP try that one.

But I definitely didn’t ride the course and even if you saw me, it wasn’t me a, when I stopped at George Square, as you couldn’t ride through the finish line, a woman walked over and said “Good luck in the race today!”.

I was flattered. She must have thought I was a professional. Then I remembered it was the woman’s race and she must have thought I was an international female cyclist.

Which was handy, as international female cyclists are allowed to ride the course…

I had two goals this year: Celtman Solo in June and the Devil of the Highlands ultra race in August. Until April, I thought my training was going well for DOTH, but then I injured my foot – more here – before I also got a chest infection just as I was getting ready to start running again. Between illness and injury I managed to run only six times between Easter and taking part in Celtman Solo in June. And six runs do not make a good training programme for an ultra marathon. So, I have had to pull out of this year’s race.

I’m not disappointed, just realistic. Like admitting I’m not going to play for Scotland. Or stand on the moon. Or tie my shoelaces properly. You know things that I could feasibly do but I’ve not shown any likelihood of doing so far.

I need to run 42 miles. I can currently run 10 miles, at a push. And ,unless the other 32 miles are downhill…

[Checks map, shakes head]

… which they’re not.

Then pulling out was the only option.

Prince Andrew doesn’t sweat, and I believe him because I too don’t sweat. At least not between October and April.

Don’t get me wrong, I do sweat. I sit in a sauna and recreate the Victoria falls. But, for six months of the year, it’s really difficult to sweat in Scotland because it’s too cold. As soon as temperature drops, unless I’ve got more layers than a James Bond villain, I can go out for a run and come back completely dry.

Sweating is meant to help cool you do. That’s why we do it. It regulates our internal temperature so we don’t overheat. But, in Glasgow, in winter, there’s no danger of that.

Instead, it would be so much easier if Charles Darwin was right and evolution had helped Scottish athletes evolve into a cross between a runner and a Calor gas heaters. I don’t need to sweat while running, I need to turn the gas up to avoid my hands turning blue and doing a good impression of the Na’vi of Avatar.

I know I can put on running tights, and gloves, a hat and a jacket. But that would just involve becoming half man half wardrobe. I want heat, not a catwalk.

I must admit though I do enjoy the days I can go running and not break a sweat as, when I get back, I can think “Do I really need a shower?” and skip it when I pass the sniff test.

You know the ‘sniff test’, don’t you? Everyone does it. A quick sniff of the armpit and, if you smell nothing, then no shower is required. (Never try this test with your feet, you’ll never leave the shower).

April though is when the weather changes and sweating returns. It’s as much a sign of Spring as new lambs, Easter eggs and forgetting your alarm clock automatically adjusts your clock and putting it forward an hour manually only to lose two hours (or is that just me?).

But even though sweating shows that temperatures are rising and the sun is shining, I do miss the winter months of being able to go for a run without having to shower as soon I get home.

This is our 1,000th post and, as we look to the future, we offer the following guarantee:

No intelligence (artificial or otherwise) will ever be used to write a blog post on TwinBikeRun!

A decent year for the site as we clocked over 11K visitors again. There was a clear drop this year from last but that was largely due to a decrease in searches for open water swimming after a boom last year in people looking for information about local lochs. 

Hello to our visitors from nearly 2000 visitors from around the world.

And an extra special hello to those single visitors from Uruguay to Jordan:

And many thanks to all who visited the site, read a blog, left a comment, clicked a link, watched a video or bought the book.

If you ‘assume’ then you make an ass of of you and me.

Which is one of those phrases that doesn’t seem fair, when you think about it. Why should two people be blamed for one persons assumption? If I assume that you will give a chocolate cake if I visit your house, then it’s not your fault if I turn up on your doorstep at midnight demanding a Black Forest gateaux. You would be quite right to slam the door in my face and call my every name under the sun. No has made an ass out of you. You’re in the right. I’m in the wrong and when I assume I have only made an ass out of me.

Which is what happened at the Jimmy Irvine 10K. I had assumed the route was the same as the last time I’d entered. See Jimmy Irvine Race Report 2019. However, the organisers had moved the start line. Instead of starting at the top of a hill in Bellahouston Park, they started at the bottom. And the first few hundred metres required us to run to the top.

I didn’t know this so hadn’t warmed up and I spent the first few hundred metres huffing and puffing and cursing myself for not think to check the route.

Other than that, the route was the same as previous years and involves 2 and half laps of Bellahouston Park. Unlike previous years – see 2019 again – it was a warm autumn day. There was no rain and it was a nice run through the park with around 500 other runners.

I was pleased with my time after having been ill a couple of days before. However, I don’t know my exact time. According the organisers I ran in 46 mins 30 seconds. According to my watch, I ran 10k in 45 minus 40 seconds. I could only wonder if the extra metres at the start may have made the course longer.

(Or my watch failed to track me right).

I would make an assumption but we all know the dangers in doing that now.

When do you change your running shoes? According to the shoe manufacturer, Asics, you should change them every 400 – 500 miles or earlier if:

•              Sections of the rubber outsole are so worn that you can see the softer foam underneath

•              The midsole feels too soft and collapses easily under pressure. 

•              You see longitudinal creases in the midsole

•              The heel counter becomes mobile and less supportive

•              Your toes wear through the toe-box and the shoe upper tears

•              One shoe sole becomes asymmetrically worn when compared to the other

•              One or both shoes no longer stand up straight when placed on a flat surface

•              You feel increased muscle soreness after running

I’ve got a simpler system to know when to replace your shoes: once a year, when the sales are on – or earlier, if a hole appears. 

The important thing though is to change them whether they need changed or not  – because no shoe lasts two years. If you get one year out of them, then you’re doing well. If you get longer, even better. Because you can buy the new pair and then keep wearing the old pair until the hole appears. 

It’s a simple system and it’s never failed me.Modern shoes should last a year, unless you are Kipchoge and running marathons every second week. But, in his case, he gets shoes for free from Nike so doesn’t have to think about it. Mo Farah on the other hand, now that his career is slowing down faster than he is, will need to start thinking about buying his own. So, Mo, if you’re reading, perhaps best you pop down to the January sales and buy a pair for this year!

So, there you go, you don’t need to know much about shoes to keep injury free with proper trainers. Just buy one pair a year in the January sales and you’ll never need to think about it again.