I cannot play any of these songs. Or any part of any of these songs.

But I did try this, and it worked. 

In my two previous January challenges – 31 days of fitness and 31 days of stretching - by the time I got to this point I was starting together into a routine… and into a rut. Not another run! Not another yoga pose!

But, at this point, it doesn’t feel like a chore to play the piano. It remains fun. It’s something I look forward to doing when I get home. And it still doesn’t feel like homework, even if the musical theory is now looking at more than just what the black blobs on a music sheet are called.

It turns out I like banging away at chords. I’m now spending more time just randomly playing patterns of chords than following the app itself. I’m not sure if this is a good or a bad thing.

I think it’s good to practice myself and see what I can learn by trying different rhythms, different keys and hearing the difference it makes (usually awful). But am I getting into bad patterns that will hamper me later?

For the moment, I’m going with it’s good to noodle. Elton John didn’t have an app. Lang Lang doesn’t take an iPad out when he wants to practice. So why should I?

(Obvious answer – because they have years of experience and I have only a couple of weeks).

I’m going to be number one!

But first I need to learn how play chords. So far I’ve been playing with my right hand and learning the essentials of how to read sheet music. Today, I have to chose. I can continue with essential skills or I can change course on Simply Piano to learn about pop chords.

The choice is easy – I’m going to be number 1 and all I need is “three chords and the truth”!

However as three chords and the truth is considered to be the basis for all country songs, I might also need a stetson, a heartbreak, a truck, a Bud, a hometown gal and the Good Lord above. None of which are offered in the app.

My number one might be a long time off yet.

I now know the basics of reading sheet music. And by basics I mean that as long as the sheet music shows a single note I think I can work out how to play it. If it shows anything more complicated, then it might be a language I recognise, like English, but spoken by someone from Aberdeen in a broadest Doric, fit like. Incomprehensible.

I like the fact the app tries to teach both theory and practice. But I don’t know how well it does this as I’ve nothing to compare it too.

They say that if you learn a foreign language then you pick up the accent of the person who teaches you it. So, if you learn English from an Aberdonian you will pick up their accent too. You won’t sound like a BBC newsreader, you’ll sound like a sheep farmer.

For all I know, the app could be teaching me to sound like a sheep farmer rather than Elton John. But I am enjoying it and it provides a useful guide to progress as I can see that songs and concepts are becoming more complicated as I progress through it. Just don’t ask me to read more than one note.

There are 88 keys on a full size piano. 53 white and 36 black. I thought all pianos would be the same but each piano is subtly different in key size and response. If you want to know how they differ then watch this video as one man starts playing with the cheapest piano he can find and then works his way up to one worth $3m.

Along with an app I have a book: Alfred’s Basic Adult Piano Course: Lesson Book Level 1

Along with practicing each day following the app, I’m working my way through the book too. So far, I’ve learned that I need to curl my fingers like I’m holding a ball. I’m assuming tennis, rather than football.

What it doesn’t say, as my Mrs TwinBikeRun, has found out, is how hard is to do that when you have longer nails. She can’t press down on the keys without flattening her hand as, if she curls her fingers, she’s pressing down with the nail rather than the tips of her fingers.

Someone should invent piano gloves for women. A special pair of gloves that you can stick your hands in, nails and all, and have some foam under the nail to create extra long fingers.

A bit like the gloves in Roald Dahl’s The Witches, but without the whole being a witch and transforming children into mice bits.

Now, where’s the application form for Dragon’s Den?

I always thought that no one played shinty in the Western Isles.

Growing up, everyone played football, a small number played rugby and girls played hockey. There was no school shinty team and no shinty club in town. Shinty was one of those sports like Indian Kabbadi that only existed on television. Exotic names like Kingussie or Newtonmore. Mainland names.

I asked my Dad once why no one played shinty and he said, “because we’re not daft. Who wants to play a sport that requires an ambulance to take you home from hospital after every game?!?.”

It was this violent reputation that always made me think that shinty might be a good game to watch. Like seeing gladiators, or boxing, or golf, if it was a contact sport.

This year I was lucky enough to be invited through work to the final of the Cammanach Cup. It was great to finally see a match in action but also to learn that a cammanch is the stick the players use to hit the ball. And that health and safety had finally caught up with the game as players had to wear a metal grilled helmet to protect their head during games. Unless they were over 21, in which case it was optional. Not sure why turning 22 reduced the chance of a serious whack to the face or concussion but most players still used the helmet, even those over 21.

The game itself was easy to pick up and was a lot more skilful than expected. Well, I say skilful. If you combine cricket with the start of the new year sales, then you get an idea of the standard tactic. Hit ball long. Everyone run!

It was the last year of the original Cammanch Cup being used as the trophy. From next year, it will be kept in a museum in Inverness and a new trophy will be used. After the game, we were offered the chance to take a swig of whiskey from the cup, which showed that it wasn’t kept too safe in its final year, as it was passed round 100 people. I passed on the opportunity to drink from it. They might have thought it safe to pass the cup around, but with Covid back in the news, it felt less like an opportunity to celebrate with it, the end of an era, and more like the start of an outbreak.

Tickets for the cup final are available online and, if you get the chance to go to it, then I’d recommend you do.