All posts by Andy Todd

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How to film a YouTube stretching/Yoga/pilates video (Andrew)

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After a month of watching YouTube flexibility videos every day for my 31 day stretching challenge I learned not only that I need to bend and twist and stretch more but that there are certain things you need to do if you’re going to film a video yourself. Here are my top 6 tips for filming a YouTube Yoga video.

1. Get a lazy dog

Yoga with Adrienne is the leading example of having a dog in your video that is neither downward or upward but actual and real. Crucially the dog must be sleeping and rarely move. You wouldn’t want my dog – Barney The Schnauzer – as he would see the camera, consider it an invasion of his privacy and start barking with all the manner and force of a football hooligan.

2. Get a pot plant

If you can’t get a dog then get a pot plant. It’s like a dog but without the threat of peeing on your foot during a sun salutation. Even better, why not get five plants and just scatter them randomly around your floor? Bonus points for having a plinth.

3. Find an empty room

The emptier the better, just remember it should look calm and serene in it’s emptiness and not like it’s been stripped by a serial killer and doubles as your Yoga Studio/kill room.

4. Take your top off

While many videos feature instructor in appropriate clothing there is a sub-genre where the instructor strips to the waist to, I can only assume, help you see the muscles they are stretching. This is not a genre of video that you ever see from a fat bloke – and you tend to find these videos are also accompanied by other videos called “Get MASSIVE guns in three easy move” and “You are using barbells wrong, you WIMP”.

5. Take almost everything off

The less said about near naked Yoga the better. I once went to a Hot Yoga class where the man in front of me was wearing just a pair of white Y-fronts. It wasn’t sexy then, it’s not sexy now. No one wants to see your barely concealed bits doing a squat.

And, no, I’m linking to any videos!

6. Forget the voiceover

You can get some videos with no voice over or instructions. Instead all instructions are in text on screen, which is handy, unless you’re in the middle of a headstand, in which case you need to turn your iPad upside down too.

Andrew, The Sound of Football

The Sound of Football: Crewe Alexandra (Andrew)

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Every fortnight we cover the best and worst football songs from every club in the UK from our book ‘The Sound Of Football: Every Club, Every Song’. You can buy it here

Crewe Alexandra

Nickname: The Railway Men

Ground: The Alexandra Stadium

Stadium Capacity: 10,066

Song: Standing Together

Crewe Alexandra has released two songs. One a cover of ‘Blue Moon’, more famously known as the anthem of Manchester City. And, the other, a song called ‘Standing Together’. A soft rock classic with an obligatory guitar solo.

‘Standing Together’ is an appropriate title for a song about Crewe Alexandra as the town of Crewe is best known for its railway junction. The junction also gives rise to Crewe’s nickname – the Railway Men.

What’s less known is the town’s link to the most famous cartoon character in history: Mickey Mouse. The town was the birthplace of Jimmy MacDonald, who, for thirty years, was the voice of Mickey.

Both Mickey and Crewe have helped produce young talent. In America, The Mickey Mouse Club was a TV variety show that launched the career of several artists such as Justin Timberlake, Brittney Spears and Christina Aguilera. At Crewe Alexandra, the focus on youth development has produced notable players such as Neil Lennon, David Platt and Robbie Savage. Though describing Robbie Savage as talent may be stretching the definition of ‘talent’ too far.

It’s unclear where the Alexandra in Crewe Alexandra originated. One tale states that it took the name ‘Alexandra’ from a local hotel used by the club. Another tale states it was after Princess Alexandra of Denmark, who married Queen Victoria’s eldest son.An unusual feature of Crewe’s stadium is the absence of dugouts. However, they don’t stand together; instead, teams sit in a section of seating at the front of the main stand. The most famous part of the ground is known as the ‘Popular Side’; this is a single-tier stand where the away supporters are housed. We suspect it’s called the ‘Popular Side’ because other name is the ‘Ice Cream Van Stand’. 

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No Sweat Running (Andrew)

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Prince Andrew doesn’t sweat, and I believe him because I too don’t sweat. At least not between October and April.

Don’t get me wrong, I do sweat. I sit in a sauna and recreate the Victoria falls. But, for six months of the year, it’s really difficult to sweat in Scotland because it’s too cold. As soon as temperature drops, unless I’ve got more layers than a James Bond villain, I can go out for a run and come back completely dry.

Sweating is meant to help cool you do. That’s why we do it. It regulates our internal temperature so we don’t overheat. But, in Glasgow, in winter, there’s no danger of that.

Instead, it would be so much easier if Charles Darwin was right and evolution had helped Scottish athletes evolve into a cross between a runner and a Calor gas heaters. I don’t need to sweat while running, I need to turn the gas up to avoid my hands turning blue and doing a good impression of the Na’vi of Avatar.

I know I can put on running tights, and gloves, a hat and a jacket. But that would just involve becoming half man half wardrobe. I want heat, not a catwalk.

I must admit though I do enjoy the days I can go running and not break a sweat as, when I get back, I can think “Do I really need a shower?” and skip it when I pass the sniff test.

You know the ‘sniff test’, don’t you? Everyone does it. A quick sniff of the armpit and, if you smell nothing, then no shower is required. (Never try this test with your feet, you’ll never leave the shower).

April though is when the weather changes and sweating returns. It’s as much a sign of Spring as new lambs, Easter eggs and forgetting your alarm clock automatically adjusts your clock and putting it forward an hour manually only to lose two hours (or is that just me?).

But even though sweating shows that temperatures are rising and the sun is shining, I do miss the winter months of being able to go for a run without having to shower as soon I get home.

Andrew, The Sound of Football

The Sound of Football: Crawley Town (Andrew)

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Every fortnight we cover the best and worst football songs from every club in the UK from our book ‘The Sound Of Football: Every Club, Every Song’. You can buy it here

Crawley Town

Nickname: The Red Devils

Ground: Broadfield Stadium

Stadium Capacity: 5,973

Song: A Message To You Rooney

Club songs are generally upbeat; they instil a sense of pride and should bring fans and clubs closer together. Unfortunately, for one Crawley Town fan, Mike Dobie, his song saw him banned by his club.

In 2011, Crawley Town was a non-league side. The club was drawn to play fellow Red Devils, Manchester United, at Old Trafford during a FA Cup run. To celebrate, Mike Dobie wrote a song called ‘A Message To You Rooney’, a re-working of ‘A Message To You Rudy’ by The Specials.

Mike’s celebration didn’t last long. A Manchester United fan complained to Crawley that Mike had made airplane gestures in the video to mock the Munich air crash victims, the 1958 tragedy that had cost the lives of many of United’s players. Crawley was appalled and promptly banned the song and the man behind it.

After playing and losing to United, the club has had success. It was promoted to the Football League, and then, at the first attempt, it was promoted on the last day of the 2012/13 season from League 2 to League 1.

The only other time the club has featured in a song was when portly manager Steve Evans left the club. Although Steve brought on-field success, his methods were not popular with players or fans. When news broke that he had accepted an offer to manage Rotherham, the players were filmed singing a rendition of ‘We’re Singing A Song ‘Cos The Fat Man’s Gone’ and Chubby Checker’s ‘Twist Again,’ to celebrate his exit.

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Andrew, Race Report

Nigel Barge 10K (Andrew)

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Back in 2016 I wrote a comprehensive report on the Nigel Barge 10k covering both its history and the course. At the time, I didn’t expect it would be another six years before I ran it again, but that’s Scottish weather and a pandemic for you. It’s been a tough few years to be running in January with either snow or rain or COVID acting as a pretty good deterrent to running around north Glasgow. This year, just like in 2016, I thought it would be good to get an early race in the legs and entered it again.

The route had a slight change as it was run completely on paths rather than having a short section cutting across grass. This was an improvement on 2016 as I remembered, and the re-reading the blog I can see it confirms, that there was a massive mud bath in the middle of the grass. This time, with paths, I didn’t have to throw my shoes straight into the washing machine.

Registration was straightforward and the route easy to follow with marshalls at all crossroads. The race starts in Garscube and then runs round and through Dawsholm park.

Dawsholm park is famous or infamous as the park most likely to be featured in an episode of Taggart whenever they find a dead body. It’s a popular spot for fictional serial killers but there was no police out when we went round. Also, no stabbings, as far as I could see, which was good. No one wants their run to be interrupted by a gangland revenge attack.

If you’re looking for a race to start the year then the Nigel Barge race is recommended. It’s popular, with nearly 400 entries, so you need to be quick to enter but, when you do, you can take comfort in a well run murder free race in North Glasgow.

Andrew, The Sound of Football

The Sound of Football: Cove Rangers/Berwick Rangers (Andrew)

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Every fortnight we cover the best and worst football songs from every club in the UK from our book ‘The Sound Of Football: Every Club, Every Song’. You can buy it here

Cowdenbeath

Nickname: The Blue Brazil

Ground: Central Park

Stadium Capacity: 4,309

Song: The Coo (Cow) Song

Cowdenbeath’s nickname is the Blue Brazil. It’s an unusual name, and its origin can be traced back to a Scottish Cup tie against Stranraer.

Usually, Cowdenbeath plays in blue strips. Typically, it’s known more for hitting and hoofing than step-overs and intricate passing. However, according to fans at the match, the team that day was playing some “silky stuff“. One fan was so impressed he shouted out, “C’mon the silky blues“. Another shouted out “C’mon the super blues” before a third added “C’MON THE BLUE BRAZIL!” A stunned silence followed – earth-shattering hyperbole can do that to a stadium – along with a 3 – 1 victory, and the nickname’s stuck ever since.

Cowdenbeath was formed in 1880 by James and John Pollock, who had one claim to fame: they had the only football in Cowdenbeath. As the official history notes: the brothers were originally from Ayrshire, on the west coast of Scotland, and had learnt to play football there. When they moved to Cowdenbeath on the east coast, they discovered no one played football. Their mother went to Glasgow to buy them a ball, so they could keep playing.

The official history of Cowdenbeath records that her son Davie said in 1952:

“Mither decided that we’d got tae hae a ba’ so she went tae Glesgae and brocht ane back. That ba’ was really the start o’ footba’ here.”

(Mother decided that’s we had to have a ball, so she went to Glasgow and brought one back. That ball was really the start of football here.)

Sadly, Mrs Pollock didn’t also bring another part of their Ayrshire heritage: classic poetry. The most famous son of Ayr is Robbie Burns, Scotland’s national poet. Instead, Cowdenbeath fans sing a song based on Scotland’s other national poet, William Topaz McGonagall, considered the worst poet in the world.

McGonagall was born in 1825 and wrote almost 200 poems, all of them awful. He was such a poor poet; audiences would throw rotten fish at him as he performed. But, despite dying penniless in 1902, his poems have become celebrated, if not for the right reasons.

At Cowdenbeath, in Central Park, fans sing one poem in particular – ‘The Coo Song’ (The Cow Song).

“There was a coo, on yonder hill.

There was a coo, on yonder hill.

It’s not there, it must’ve shifted.

There was a coo on yonder hill.“

(Source: terrace chant)

Robbie Burns, it is not.

It’s worth noting that William McGonagall was a teetotaller and a great supporter of the temperance movement. Robbie Burns loved drinking. So, if you want to write poetry, better order a double.

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Andrew

The number one cause of injuries: stupidity (Andrew)

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At the end of last year, I lost my drone. I was flying it near a dam, trying to fly it along the main pipe and up to the falling water off the dam sluice when I received a warning that I was running low on battery. I checked the battery and it said I had 3 mins flight time left. I thought that was plenty of time to continue for another shot and then fly it back to me. I was wrong. 90 seconds later the drone screen flashed red, the drone began it’s automatic descent to land and I tried desperately to work out where in the moor it might be so I could run over and collect it. 30 minutes later and after much trampling of heather, I found it. I should never have ignored the warning. I was an idiot. I was lucky to find it. But I was still an idiot.

Most injuries are the same. We might not have a red warning light but most times, when we look back, we might as well have, as the warning lights will have been flashing.

At Christmas, I fell off my bike. This is the third time I’ve fallen off in five years. Even worse, two of the times happened at the same place. To fall off one’s bike in one place is an accident, to fall off one’s bike in exactly the same place and in exactly the same conditions is no longer an accident, it’s a trip to a consultant to get my head examined as I must have knocked all the sense out of it when I landed on it the first time!

I was in Carron Valley, it was cold, there was frost and ice on the road, and, despite falling here four years ago, I still tried to cycle when figure skating was the better option. I managed to get around 100m before I wobbled. That was my warning light. I continued. Two seconds later, I fell and banged my head on the road. What an idiot!

With other injuries, I can see the warning signs clearly, with hindsight. A cracked rib from trying to leap across a river when I should have turned round and returned home. I only continued because I hate running out and back. So, instead, I ran out and walked back… clutching my rib.

Snapping an ankle ligament? The warning sign was there. I was 35 and playing fives football. Playing football after 35 is a warning sign in itself. You don’t need any more warning of impending injury than a desire to wear a replica football top while shouting “I’m free! I’m free!”.

The signs are always there. If you want to avoid injury, just be less stupid.