The Balfron 10k is an ‘out and back’ course. Excuse my mansplaining but I’m going to state the obvious – an ‘out and back’ course means you go out and then come back on the same course.

I assume all runners understand that… except one man.

The first half of the Balfron 10k is an undulating farm road. When I wasn’t running up a hill,  I was running down a hill. The second half of the race is on exactly the same road as the out section (except for a short bit at the end)

I got to the turnaround point and I mentally prepared myself to run up and down the hills again. The man behind hadn’t prepared himself. He turned round and said:

“Who put that hill here?”

How could you forget. You were just on it! Have you got the memory capacity of a goldfish?

He screamed “aaaarghh” and fell into step running just behind me.

We came to another hill. I know because he said

“Why is there another hill here?”

Because we ran it on the way out!

He screamed “aaargh” again. and continued running just behind me.

We came to the last hill. I know because he said “Fuck off hill!” and then screamed “come on!”

At this point he ran past me. I noticed he had headphones on. His music was loud. Why is he talking to himself whilst simultaneously blocking all noise! Is it rude to wear headphones when you are talking to yourself? Does he turn to himself and say “You’re not even listening. You’re too busy listening to music!”

I got round in 45:42.  I was happy with my time as (a) it was was faster than Andrew; (b) it was faster than last year; and (c) I got home in time for lunch.