Our piano is in the hall beside the living room. If I’m playing, I keep the living room door open so I can keep an eye on little three year old Wee TwinBikeRun when she watches her cartoons. However, in the last few days, every time I sit down to play, about five minutes after starting, she comes out of the living room, stares at me and then holds her hand our to take my hand. She then pulls me into the living room.

I may not be as melodic as I thought. Even a 3 year old is a critic!

Imagine singing a song but only learning every second word.

“Take… Down… The… Paradise… Where…. Grass…Green….. The…. Are Pretty”

Now try and play it on the piano with the missing music too.

That’s Simply Piano.

Which sounds like a complaint, and it is, but I can see it’s also necessary. The app teaches the piano by playing along with songs. However the songs are complex so it simplifies the songs so you only play along with parts of it. It’s just enough to know the song but, because it’s simplified, I can filling in the missing notes in my head and think I’m missing out on playing some keys.

On the other hand, as I move through the lessons, you come back to the same songs and gradually learn how to play more complex versions of it, which helps show how you’re improving.

But it is frustrating as I want to be better than the programme will let me. And that’s probably a good thing as it’s forcing me to learn the basic techniques and to practice those before doing anything more complicated.

Some useful video channels I’ve watched:

And the more useful:

For sheer enthusiasm:

I watched Gattaca last night, a 90s sci-fi film about genetic engineering. At one point, the main characters attend a piano concert and find out the pianist has six fingers. “It’s the only way he can play this song” says one character to the other. I know how that feels…

On a music sheet there is a number to help you know which finger to use when playing a note. The numbers run from 1 to 5 with 1 being your thumb and each number, a finger. So far so simple. If the music sheet shows a C and 1 then you know where to place your hand.

The only problem with this numbering is that 5 can mean not just the fifth note but the sixth note too. For a pianist, 5 can also mean 6 and the only way to know this is to read the note and spot whether it’s a G (5) or A (also 5 but really a 6).

Why not just call it 6? We may not have 6 fingers but at least we’d then be able to move our hands, or stretch a wee pinky to reach it. Calling two notes the same number (5) just leads to confusion. Let’s just call it 6.

Other than that, I’m starting to understand how read sheet music and can now recognise a handful of simple notes and how to play them.

Mrs TwinBikeRun is also learning the piano. She’s using the app – Simply Piano – and I can hear her playing along to John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’.

I say “play along” but at beginners level it’s more about playing the occasional key in time with the music rather than playing the song itself.

“If John Lennon could imagine what you are playing he’s be having nightmares,” I say helpfully.

Already, after three days, I can see our playing styles are diverging. While we both started with the app, I’m quite happy to learn a few keys and then play my own tunes on the piano. (And by tunes, I mean ‘noise’). Mrs TwinBikeRun on the other hand, will only play from the app. She’s already ahead of me in the lessons as she works her way through the initial steps.

We’ve also opted for different lessons. After tying the essential skills, learning about how to read some musical notes and where to put your fingers on the keyboard, the lessons split into more essential skills, or an initial look at chords. I chose chords. Mrs Twinbikerun continues with the essential skills.

So, while she at least is learning how to play songs, I’m learning how to play along to songs by using C, D, E and G cords with my right hand.

At some point I assume the app will make us use our left hand but not yet.

I wonder what to do with it in the meantime. Keep it on my lap. Hold a candle in the air. Rest it on the keys? The app doesn’t say.

I rest it on the keys and try to play along but I don’t know what I’m doing as Mrs TwinBikeRun says “If John Lennon could hear you play, he’d be glad that he’s dead!”

I have an app: Simply Piano. It’s American. I can tell it’s American because it keeps telling me to play along with Maroon 5, a band so bland it could be used to paint hallways.

When it’s not telling me to Move Like Jagger it’s also asking me to play Ode To Joy, which at least has a memorable tune. Unlike Maroon 5 who only have a tune if they buy cough sweets.

The good thing about the app is that it mixes playing with showing you how to read music. And Ode to Joy is the first song it provides in sheet music form.

Except I don’t think it’s right. There is one note that doesn’t sound right to me so I play a different one instead.

It’s only day one and already I’m not following my lessons. I’ve rejected technique and musical theory and I’m playing my own songs. Is this how Maroon 5 started? They knew what to do but they started to play their own stuff and eventually they produced the musical equivalent of greek yoghurt and it was too late for good taste. Was I destined to go down the same road?

Perhaps. But given I only know five keys on the keyboard and I can’t use my left hand, the only Jagger I move like is Chris Jagger, Mick’s brother.