I hate heights.

I got vertigo watching my telly during the film The Aeronaughts just because it had 90 minutes of ballooning. I’d hate to get in an actual balloon when even Eddie Redmayne in a basket in a studio surrounded by CGI makes me dizzier than water down a drain. But my wife loves rollercoasters, so I love (hate) rollercoasters and have to join her when we get the chance to have a go on one. It’s not fun and I blame the minister who married us. While he asked if I would take her in sickness or in heath he never once mentioned taking her in a basket in mid-air or, worse, a loop de loop at 90 miles an hour. If he had, I would definitely have said “no” and called off the wedding.

So, in order to try and overcome my fear I watched “Engineer Explains Every Roller Coaster For Every Thrill” and I now know the difference between a coaster, an ultra coaster, a mousetrap and, most importantly, the site of every major roller coaster in the world so I can make sure we never go on holiday anywhere near them. Perfect.