Apparently you could have received a fine if you rode the UCI World Championship Course in Glasgow in August.

I say ‘apparently’ because I read it on a Facebook post and I can’t find any evidence that it is true. Much like most Facebook posts.

However, as I also read that Nicola Sturgeon definitely kept all the SNP’s stolen money in a bag marked “Swag” in the back of her motorhome, I shouldn’t take any chances. It may be true so…

I definitely didn’t ride the UCI World Championship Course in Glasgow in the morning before the woman’s world championship race. However, if I had, I imagine, and I stress for any policemen reading, this is imaginary, it would have probably involved something like this…

First, the course received some notoriety before the championships began as it had 42 corners and would require the male riders to turn almost 500 times during their 12 laps of the course.

I can confirm there were a hell of a lot of corners on the course. And, in face, there were more than 42. And, not only that, there were also two u-turns. But that might just have been because I took a wrong turn and ended up cycling the wrong way along the course.

I blame the Marshalls because the first time I went round the course, they didn’t shout out at all. The second time they did and that helped me know which way to go.

Unfortunately they also shouted “The course is live, get off the course!” but at least I knew I was going in the right direction.

The longest climb on the course is Montrose Street, beside Strathclyde University. However, it’s not the hardest climb on the course. That would be Scott Street in Garnethill, which is shorter but is much steeper. Neither thought is particularly challenging, at least not at the pace I was going. I imagine it’s harder when you’re trying to win a World Championship and you’re trying to go as fast as you can.

It was great to see the course and to ride through the city without traffic lights or traffic to worry about. There were also no potholes as the council had filled them all in the week before.

If you check Strava you’ll know find that every Strava segment in the course has been claimed by a professional cyclist so if you’re looking for records then you’ll need to do what I saw one man do: fastest up Montrose Street on a Brompton bile. I’d love to see MVP try that one.

But I definitely didn’t ride the course and even if you saw me, it wasn’t me a, when I stopped at George Square, as you couldn’t ride through the finish line, a woman walked over and said “Good luck in the race today!”.

I was flattered. She must have thought I was a professional. Then I remembered it was the woman’s race and she must have thought I was an international female cyclist.

Which was handy, as international female cyclists are allowed to ride the course…