Nurseries should hand out Hazmat suits when children start. 

TwinBikeChild started nursery a month ago and I’ve been ill ever since. After twice getting a throat infection in three weeks I’ve lost more weight than a Circus strongman with amnesia. TwinBikeChild, on the other hand, just gets a runny nose every time she picks up a new bug. Children have a defence system so strong even Donald Trump wouldn’t leak it. 

As I’m ill I’ve had to miss a couple of races with the Alloa Half Marathon being the main casualty, which was a pity as it gave me no chance to find out if they’d doubled their toilet count for the 5,000 starters by bringing a second toilet to the start. See last year’s report. Hopefully, next year, they’ll have doubled it again and have four portaloos.

While I missed the race I did end up in Alloa for a children’s party which only made me wish I’d raced instead as the after-party entertainment was a mobile zoo. 

“A mobile zoo,” you say, “that sounds delightful!”

And it does. Who wouldn’t get excited about the inevitable  cuteness overload of a dozen or so four year olds being shown age appropriate animals like puppy dogs, rabbits or little pet lambs? 

“Why would you rather have ran 13 miles with a razor blade in your throat and a cough with more hacks than a 80s slasher horror film?” You might ask me.

“Because,” I’d say, “the first animal was a cockroach.”

AAAAAARGGHHHH!! 

“And”, I’d say, “the second animal was a box of meal worms.”

It wasn’s a mobile zoo, it was pest extermination.

EEEEEKKKKKK!!!

A collection of scaly scary creepy crawlies which only ended when the ‘zookeeper’ brought out a mouse and then a bright yellow snake. And all I could hope was that it not an extermination it’s just all been lunch for the snake

TwinBikeChild, of course, loved it.