I just wanted a burger and chips. I ordered the ‘classic burger’ and I ordered the ‘truffle chips’ (don’t judge me) and the man wrote both down in his pad, looked at me and then said:

“Strong order!”

What.

You don’t get to a checkout with your cornflakes, tin of tuna and 4 litre bottle of milk and the checkout assistant says: “Loving your selection.”

You don’t go to a bar, order a bottle of Corona and the bar man says: “What are you? A lightweight!”

What does strong order even mean? What would be a weak order.

“Can I have a burger please?”

“And would you like chips with that?”

“No, just the burger.”

“Well, that a pitiful order. It’s not even worth the chef getting the grill heated up!”

Maybe he said it because we feel a need to say well done when someone tells us something.

“I went running last night.”

“Well done!”

“I had beans on toast for my lunch.”

“That sounds good!”

“My dog just died.”

“Nice!”

As ‘athletes’ we feel this pressure all the time when talking about races. “I came first in my age group is received the same as “I walked the whole race and then pissed on the finish line while waving a Nazi flag”.

“Good for you!”

When you race, it’s your own race and it’s not for others to judge how you did. You run your own race and how you did might be an achievement for you. So, we congratulate everyone all the same.

Except the Nazi finish line sprinkler. Then it’s okay to judge.