I’m in Edinburgh, and I’m watching a man blow a large, long thin bubble. 

“That’s right,” he said, “it’s a snake”.

I’m at a kids show and the performer on stage is asking us to guess the “bubble animals” as he guides us through the “bubble jungle” in “Bubbleland”.

“Maybe we’ll see a bubble lion? Or a bubble giraffe? Or even a bubble monkey!” He promises.

He blows another bubble. Kids shout guesses from the crowd.

“That’s right,” he said, “it’s a worm”.

Closely followed by an elephant’s trunk, a sausage dog with no legs, and another snake. 

“I don’t think a bubble can become an elephant,” I whisper to Mrs TwinBikeRun.

“I don’t think it can even become a snake,” she whispers as the bubble pops, yet again.

“I went to a bubble show last year,” said one of my colleauges, after I told them what I was doing. “At the end of the show, they said that they also had an adult only bubble show.”

“What’s an adult only bubble show,” I asked.

“You don’t want to know how they blow the bubble,” they said.

Thankfully the only ‘adult’ moment we had during the show was a strange reference to “When I was a soldier, carrying weapons of war…”.

What?! Weapons of war? Not even ‘bubble weapons of war?!?

At what point, when writing a show for three-year-old kids did the performer think it was right to mention military combat? And that it was better to say, “weapons of war” than to just say “gun”. Was he not carrying a gun? Was it another weapon? Was he carrying a rocket launcher and didn’t want to say that? Either way, he soon moved on and started talking about bubble animals again, but the moment was a strange left turn in an otherwise family friendly show.

“I’m glad we also have lunch to look forward to,” said Mrs TwinBikeRun. And so was I as the temptation to eat too much was irresistible and my original idea of going out for a run after we got home seemed as appropriate as a bazooka in a bubble show.