For the last three years I’ve used January to try and learn something new. Three years ago it was to try 31 days of exercise, two years ago it was 31 days of stretching, last year it was 31 days of learning to play the piano and this year it’s 31 days of… lunch.

The logistics of a ‘car picnic’ are tricky. Do you have the picnic in the driver’s seat, but have the inconvenience of the steering wheel in front of you? Do you move to the passenger seat, but have the inconvenience of having to get out of the car and back into it? Or, if you’re getting out, do you sit in the back like a VIP being chauffeured round town, albeit parked?

And if you don’t know what a ‘car picnic’ is then you’ve clearly never eaten a sandwich in a car and tried to make it sound grander than it actually is.

A ‘car picnic’ is a car sandwich.

Today, I had a car sandwich.

I was in Larbert for work and had to drive to Edinburgh for a meeting at 1pm. I decided to leave early and pick up a sandwich from Sainsbury’s and to eat it before the meeting.

It’s important, when selecting a car picnic, to never ever choose a croissant. You will never know how flaky the pastry of a croissant can be until you find bits of it in your boot weeks after eating it in the driver’s seat. Croissants spread faster than TikTok.

It’s also important to decide where you sitting for the picnic, if you are on your own. If you have company, changing seats is a bit weird. But, if on your own, you have the entire car to sit. The driver’s seat is my least favourite. The wheel gets in the way of my hands bringing the sandwich to my mouth. The passenger seat gets rid of the wheel and keep the cup holder in the centre console, so is a very attractive option. But, for pure decadence, nothing beats sitting in the back seat like a chauffeured VIP. Or, as the car is static, like a chauffeured VIP’s chauffeur waiting for the VIP to come out. Luxury.

No matter where you sit, a car sandwich is always improved by thinking of it as a car picnic.

Bread: Sainsbury’s cheese and ham sandwich

Ingredient: as above

Taste: like blanket on the ground on a warm summer’s day