For the last three years I’ve used January to try and learn something new. Three years ago it was to try 31 days of exercise, two years ago it was 31 days of stretching, last year it was 31 days of learning to play the piano and this year it’s 31 days of… lunch.

I worked from home today as a plumber was fixing a tap, which is a routine job unless you forget that, to fix the tap, he has to turn off the water, which also turns off the heat – and its minus eight outside. To warm up, I thought of eating ice cream but, instead, I poured a lot of mustard on a a roll and used food as heat.

I love mustard. I also love ketchup. If I went on the Dragon’s Den I would show them my greatest invention: Orange.

Orange is not the fruit, the colour or the mountain bike brand. It’s a combination of red ketchup and yellow American mustard create ‘Orange’! Why have two bottles for a hot dog when you only need one: Orange!

Then the Dragon’s would ask if I had googled for competitor products and I’d admit “No, I haven’t googles it” and Doug Ballamntyne (retuning just for my audition) would call me a fool and “I’m OUT!” as he shares the link for Mustketch and I slink out the door with the lighter of the Dragons following me.

Anyway, now that my condiment based based dreams have died, what did I actually eat on Friday?

With the plumper in, I kept it simple: roast chicken slices, mature cheddar and some M&S soft rolls from the bread bin. And mustard. Lots of mustard. And no ketchup, because that’s just a daft idea now!

Bread: M&S White Roll

Filling: chicken slices and mature cheddar

Taste: like a roaring fire in an igloo