October 2019. Yay. I win a place in the Celtman ballot.

March 2020. Global pandemic. We all get really fit working from home – but all races are cancelled. Boo. Damn you secret Wuhan lab/global hoax/Bill Gates!

October 2020. Yay. I keep my place in the Celtman ballot.

June 2021. Race goes ahead but the global elite/illuminati/Glasgow City Council shut all swimming pools and I’ve not been in a pool for 18 months so don’t take part. Boo.

January 2021. Daughter born. Yay. Celtman plans on hold. Boo.

October 2023. Daughter is two and can now clean/cook/get a job/generally look after herself. Yay. Place in the Celtman ballot. Double yay. But Boo. No global pandemic to help with training so I’ll need to do this properly, and what did I learn…

After three attempts, and many. many hours of training…

I am a moron.

Always start in the right gear…