I was nervous. I’m usually nervous before a race but these nerves were different. These were based on a lack of training rather than a fear of the unknown.

It’s okay to be scared of the unknown. Who knows what might be there? I’ve seen the film ‘Get Duked’, the Highlands are filled with lairds shooting tourists for fun .Who’s to say the local lord wasn’t going to pop out with his shotgun and shoot triathletes like grouse?!?

But to be scared due to lack of training is not okay because the fear is entirely self inflicted. Like taking a shower in the laird’s house without asking and then using all his best towels while singing “I’m the King of the Castle, you’re the dirty rascal!” Of course he’s going to react. Who wouldn’t?!?

But my lack of training wasn’t entirely self-inflicted. I hurt my toe in Easter and couldn’t run for three weeks. I then picked up a chest infection which kept me out of action for another three weeks before hurting my chest and losing another two weeks. I’ve lost more time than a careless Rolex salesman.

In the last two weeks I finally had a run of days to train for the race and managed to run four times, cycle four times and swim twice. 10 training sessions. None longer than an hour. And I was then taking part in Celtman Solo Point Five, the ‘Baby Celtman’, a middle distance triathlon based around the Applecross penisula on the west cost of Scotland.

So, naturally, I was nervous until I had a simple thought. It went like this. “How will I do?” I said to myself. “Awful,” I answered positively but realistically. “Oh come on,” I said, “it can’t be that bad, at least I won’t come last!” And with that thought I had a goal. I wouldn’t come last. Second last maybe. But not last.

And how did I do? Well, let’s just say if they had a gold, medal and silver for the last three places then I just missed the loser’s podium. (I was fourth last).

But let’s start at the beginning…

Registration

Registration is open on Thursday PM and all day Friday in a hall in Torridon. It’s easy to find and everyone is friendly and helpful. You need to bring certain mandatory run equipment (such as a waterproof jacket, hat, gloves, food, waters, first aid etc) and these are checked to make sure they are suitable for the race. Having run the route before as part of supporting last year’s Celtman I know how horrific the weather can be for the run route. So, I’d brought two versions of everything. A run jacket for normal rain, the one I’d run around Glasgow wearing. And an industrial waterproof jacket for working on a trawler in a storm in a tidal wave. That way I could use either depending on the forecast. Luckily, while the forecast was for rain, it was to be mild rather than biblical.

The Celtman ‘shop’ was also open in the hall so you can buy your Celtman merchandise. I bought a t-shirt which had the slogan “If you get lost, you’re a moron.”

Little did I know how accurate this t-shirt would be… more on this in part 2 next week.

Swimming

The swim route starts in Shieldag and requires you to swim round an island and back. Some warm weather over the last few weeks meant the sea swim was warm, with temperatures around 16 degrees. This also meant the water was suitable for jellyfish and there were plenty around the northern end of the island. I tried to swim further out to avoid them, which worked, but I couldn’t avoid all of them and I just had to bat them away while swimming.

The swim start is early – 5am – and you need to drop off your run bag, set up your bike transition and collect your tracker before hand. Everything is nearby and, if you stay in Shieldag, it didn’t feel too early a start after a 9pm bedtime on Friday night.

However, if you are driving then, while there is plenty of car parking, it’s at the other end of the village so you will need to park, walk to the transition and pick up points and factor in the time to then walk back to the swim start.

Again, everything is well organised and it’s always clear what you need to do and where you need to go.

But what about the jellyfish, are they as bad as people say?

Celtman is famed for its jellyfish and a lot of people are worried about swimming among them and getting stung. For most of the race I would have said “don’t worry, they’re annoying but you soon get used to them. They’re only around for a few minutes of the race and most of the time the waters are clear and calm.”

And then, on the way back to shore, with around 200 metres to go, I was stung by one of the [expletive deleted]!

AAAAAAAaaaaaRRRRRRrrrrGGGGGGGGHHHHHhhhhhHhhHHHHH!

Like getting a whip to the face from Indiana Jones.

The bloody [expletive deleted]!

And I could feel it for the rest of the face. A burning across my cheeks and mouth.

And while it wasn’t painful, it was annoying, and I can’t say I enjoyed it. So, if you don’t fancy the idea of jellyfish then other races are available… 🙂

And did you come last?

Not yet. I was happy with a steady swim around the island and a time of c45 minute.

And, as usual, even though we weren’t swimming together, I ended up climbing onto the shore just 10 seconds ahead of Iain TwinBikeRun. We must have been swimming the same speed all the way round.

A decent start but last place was still in my grasp as the next stage was going to be only the third time I’ve cycled outdoors in the last year. Would injuries, illness and a training program entirely based in Strava help me keep pace with the leaders? No chance.

For the rest of the race, come back next week.