Every fortnight we cover the best and worst football songs from every club in the UK from our book ‘The Sound Of Football: Every Club, Every Song’. You can buy it here

Dumbarton

Nickname: The Sons

Ground: Dumbarton Football Stadium

Stadium Capacity: 2020

Song: High Tension At Boghead

Britpop was responsible for more crimes against humanity than the entire world conquering efforts of the Injustice League (including, but not limited to, Robo-Armageddon; Monkey Apocalypse; and numerous attempted uses of a Devastating Doomsday Device). And, the biggest villains of all, Britpop’s Lex Luthor, was Scottish band The Supernaturals.

The Supernaturals was a prolific band. They wrote more than 100 songs in five years. But, remember, being prolific is not a good thing – diarrhea is prolific. In 1998, however, they hit the jackpot. They wrote the one song that meant they would never need to work again. That song was ‘Smile’. Google it. It’s infectious, I’ll give you that, but, then again, so is diarrhea.

We think ‘Smile’ sounds like a thousand screeching chalkboards cutting through our souls. It’s the calculated sound of a man wiping his hands on your ears after going to the toilet even though he has a towel in his hands. It is utterly and truly ghastly. But we’ll forgive The Supernaturals because they released the greatest football song of all time: ‘High Tension At Boghead’.

‘High Tension At Boghead’ was a B-side to their 1997 single Prepare To Land. It’s an Arab Strapesque tale of life and memories in the third division at Dumbarton’s historic home, before its old home was sold for re-development as brand new homes. It’s really rather wonderful.

Dumbarton also have the honour of being one of the few clubs to reach a cup final song however, unlike every other club, Dumbarton released theirs, not for reaching a Scottish Cup final, but for the 1978 World Cup finals. In 1978, caught up in World Cup fever, the Dumbarton Squad were roped into a recording session with Midge Ure to record a World Cup song for EMI America entitled ‘Hey Argentina’. However, just like Scotland (see Ayr United), it flopped.

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